INTERACTION

Maisie and Mark. What an incredibly dizzy couple. And a bath shaped like an egg. Well, I never did. This already bodes well. (9.40 pm)

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This is crazeee. Heaven's Gate, Mark's House, and Thomas's huge John Thomas!

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Eight so far. But they're all so young.
No mature wit and wisdom, then!

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All 14 of them in. Far too young an average age. All far too good looking. No eccentric, weathered people. Hmmmm.

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If Youth But Knew..

...that we see right through them. You're right about a young house, Des - or should we say callow? Much front on display, much bragging (do any men REALLY have a 100% success rate with women?) The BB men do apparently, and I cannot for the life of me see why. This is a House where people are going to be dragged screaming from behind their facades! First to suffer this was Tom of the massive boy bits. He fairly SCUTTLED away when Pamela asked for a viewing.

First in was Mark, playing the local yokel for all he's worth, complete with dropped jaw. He should be in my classoom - such a jaw gets invited to close before it catches flies. He was fascinated by the egg shaped bath - someone should tell him it's for keeping coal in.

Then came Maisie the store model with the unbelievable blonde hair. She wishes to be an actress or a top model - she'll go further if she stops crossing her eyes and learns to walk properly. She claims to like parading round the house in nothing but her shoes - please not in the BB houseand not in those boot shoes she was wearing which looked as if they'd been designed to help Neil Armostrong walk on the moon. She had to lean right forward to get going. I kept expecting her to fall flat on her face. I think in her own circle she'll be seen as sexy, but regrettably beside some of the other women she looked cheap. I'm feeling a little protective of her already.

Aaron wears stubble and likes his own way because his way is the right way and his ideas are the best ideas. And everyone is going to have to work hard not to upset him. Silly man - as the odests, he;s going to have to develop people managing skills before the young 'uns go out of control.

Heaven is a model, dancer, poet, and professional motivator. She loathes fake nails, fake hair, and fake people. She's in for some fun in there - never saw such ratty hair extensions in my life.

Tony is a shop assistant and a meerkat lookalike who claims to be bisexual. In his case, bisexuality might be a form of desperation as he stands in his black plimsolls waiting patiently for someone, anyone, to come and get him. He promised lewdness and the vulgar display of his bits and pieces but failed the Pamela Anderson test. Even so, I expect the priest won't ask him to play jesus again.

Tashie is the exotic belly dancer and her display was spectacular. Poor Maisie looked leaden beside her. The problem with Tashie may be a tendency to spout cod philosophy about butterflies and happiness and such. We had enough of that with Pamela and Tara in CBB.

Aden is a computer game geek and cuddles his teddy bear at night. he connquers women in the same way Alexander conquered the Persian hordes (does Teddy know?), and BTW, is a foot fetishist (again poor Maisie and her moon walking boots) and has a psychology degree.

Alex from newcastle is a strange one. She was wearing the worst blonde extensions I have seen in my life and trilled like a demented budgie - which sat oddly with her masculine shoulders and jaw line. I wonder...

Harry is the fox hunting posh guy who owns a milkshake company. He has rabbit teeth but still thinks he can be a gay icon.

Rebeckah looked an interesting one. Very pretty and works in a men's club but is infuriated by men. I wonder if this is a case of cause or effect? She's not going to meet the best of men in her line
of work, is she? She wore a pink meringue and looked little and sweet - all the men were gazing...could be interesting.

Anton- 'the People's Champion, I am the truth, I'm here for the people' - what he means is unclear, but his slogans were nearly as impressive as his 100 % success rate with women. Its going to be fun to see him brought low. The women (apart from Maisie) look tough and able this year and unlikely to suffer fools gladly.

Particularly Faye the lady wrestler. She has a fabulous physique and is very competitive. She also seems to suffer from Dahl-like wig-itch as she kept scratching at her scalp.

She may have found a match in Jay, the plumber/barber/ physical fitness instructor from Newcastle who also lives for working out and special diets.

Then there's Louise, the Mancunian beauty queen and model. And how beautiful she is. Funny to see all the sidelong glances the men threw at her as she walked in beauty like the night through their midst. Alas, poor Maisie - outclassed!

And so it begins. Roll on tomorrow night...

PS - like your new icon, Des. Classy!

Thanks, Marion. Taken from here: http://classicalhorror.wordpress.com/

And thank you for an excellent aide memoire of 'characters'. (Except, should be Tom not Tony?)

Meanwhile, it seems to me that Ch 5/BB have designed specifically here for sexual encounters and little else...

Full names:
Aaron Allard-Morgan, aden theobald, alex rose, anton murphy, darcy steele, faye palmer, harry blake, Heaven Africa, jay mckray, louise cliffe, maisy james, mark henderson, pamela anderson, Rebeckah Vaughn, Tashie Jackson, Tom O’Connell.

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You're right - Tom the Meerkat it is.
As to sexual encounters - if Tom and his disorderly retreat from Pamela is anything to go by, BB may well be disappointed although Jay looks ambitious in that direction. And if BB is not disappointed then the show is doomed = past BB has always been cleverer than that. But certainly, going by the taped interviews and the answers to the invisible interrogator, BB has been trying to establish sexual histoy and physical attibutes etc. Trying to create an ambience?
As if ANYBODY tells the truth in these interviews...
As if ANYBODY can be reduced to the parameters of amateur porn performance.

Your list of full names is interesting - some of them sound like they stepped from the pages of porn; others from Mills & Boon.
Let us see what happens...

Gentleman's Relish

The first task has taken place. Pamela selected five housemates for a party in the VIP room. Their remit was to entertain her (Heaven won for an energetic samba and now has to wear a golden swimsuit and cape which, unbeknownst to her, makes her immune from nominations). But far more entetaining were the reactions of the Unselected - explosive little Becky called Pamela a f****** s**** and Aaron jibed about her age. OOOh, graduates from charm school, I see.
I think Aaron thought he had a soulmate in Becky till she esconsed herself in the toilet with him and would not leave. It's all very well to be a cynic and a rebel but there are limits... but not for Becky, apparently. All in it together, she said, and proceeded to entertain with tales of what she gets up to with the gentlemen at the club she works in(watersports). It was an unappealing tale although it did explain her own lack of embarrassment at staying and watching Aaron in the loo, and her blindness to his discomfort.

Viewers were rewarded with a little BB gem of Britishness. Aaron, clearly shocked and trying to hide it, could only produce a bland and embarrassed 'Nice' to a Becky who expected the wowwow reaction she would get from her gentleman's club friends.
Then he finally got her to leave - 'Good grief' was all he said as he locked the door.

Actually, Becky's work life was much on her mind. She returned to it later in the bedroom, denying angrily that she's a stripper or a lapdancer until Aaron mentioned the price for a night with her (big mistake to confide in Aaron who now that he was over the shock of her disclosures had found his contempt). She only does it for underprivileged children, she insisted, and hates her club work.
Then later in the bath with jay she complained of what she HAS to go through in her working day (or night). What does she aspire to be - Tart with a Heart of Gold? or rose with a worm in the bud?

Mind you, the men were as bad, huddling together, rating the girls who didn't even give them a second glance. Worst were Aden and Anton, trying to psyche one another out with tales of the number of sexual partners they had had. Anton patronisingly agreed that Aden had done quite well for his age but could not hold a candle to him. Then, to show the master in a action, he drifted over to sit with Faye and Maisie who got up and left as soon as he arrived and left him all alone.

There were some attempts at intelligent conversation - Faye asked jay to tell her a fact. 'Dolphins are one of only two mammals who have sex for fun,' he informed her.
'We're the other ones,' he said when Faye looked blank.
She continued looking blank.

Becky fancies herself a judge of women (she studiously avoided other women all night and roamed from man to man so there's a bias there) and accused the others of attention seeking behaviour. (yes, this is the same Becky who bragged of water sports in the gentleman's club).

Mark, Jay and Tom compared their their personal habits of inappropriate self touching. Jay claims 70 times before he went into the house. The others bragged too although you could see they were impressed. Then jay remembered another fact 'You lose 50% of your zinc that way.'
I never knew that.

I wonder if one should look on the works of Mankind and Despair ... and here I have found myself in a quandary. Either truly horrified. Or 'artistically' horrified at this half real / half unreal slice of life today. Whether, in the context of misguided freedom, it is or it is not 'well worth a closer look'? Is humanity just skin deep? In this context, Marion, Faye looked blank because, as she said, she did not consider us to be animals. But then, of course, we have Becky's Urolagnia to consider, a drip feed that Sartreanly closets us all 'in camera' ....

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Becky has worked at the Club too long and lives by a different set of norms - I cannot make out if she was trying to proposition Aaron or impress him or whether she has her eyes set on a career in films - but the clashes she is going to experience will be interesting to watch.
As for all the silly bragging the men are going on with - once the tasks start properly, that will cease. At least I hope so because I could nt stand 9 weeks of their gross fantasies.

Divide and Rule

Things are looking up in the house. For the first few minutes it didn't seem so - Jay flashed his bits in the see-through shower (and his tattoos are hideous); Tom and Mark decided to compare body parts (I did avert my eyes but the comparison turned out to be merely of hands). But as always, personalities are beginning to emerge - and cunning game plans too.

Tashi has told of fearful bullying at school and of how she has no real friends. To her, being in the BB house represents acceptance. We've heard that line before, and more than once, haven't we? She seems to like the idea of being a gentle hippy dispensing silken advice about reaching for the stars and going for your goals. Anton responded with the Orwellian quote about truth being a revolutionary act. Tashi seemed a little dazed and said she'd have to think about that one. As for Anton, I think he knows what he's talking about.

Anton is an unconscious humourist. He has selected Maisie and Louise as possible targets for sexual encounters. He trapped them in corners and doggedly attempted to ascertain how far they would go in the house (sexually, that is). Louise's response was to flit away and Maisie's to change the subject. I think we can safely say the girls are unimpressed by superstud. He has however assured BB in the DR that he will score if BB will only give him the opportunity. What does he want BB to do? Tie them down?

There is something deeply unappealing about his dour determination. He cornered poor Maisie in the pool with more efforts to bring her round to his way of thinking. Spin the bottle? How far would she go? Exactly? Actually, the scene became a little queasy when Harry and Aden joined in. Maisie ended up looking like a rabbit trapped in the headlights with the poachers on the way.

In the mean time, other Hms were trying to form groups. Heaven is wise in her way and has pointed out to Maisie how easily and quickly the guys calculate and bond. Girls, she said, are slower to do that because they don't trust each other. She's right of course.
Already the girls are splintering - Becky was the only girl in the sauna with the boys. She giggled a lot and earned a great deal of approval - much good it will do her when it comes to nominations. Louise went to the DR and dissociated herself from all the other HMs - they're not real and genuine like what she is. Oh, dear...

Aaron's attempts at team building were more successful than Heaven's. He's older and slicker than the other men and already they are under his sway. How easy it was to draw them into mock- the- girls -we're -all -guys -together mode. Heaven's dream of holistic healing and growing crops was suitably jeered at, Maisie's cartwheel derided. I think we can look forward to the ususal elimination of women from the game.

The next golden cape and swimsuit was awarded to Aden by Pamela, the prize for being the best speed date. This I did not understand. The brat told her she was older than his mother and kept baring his teeth and scrunching up his eyes whenever he thought he was being amusing. (I can see already that this habit is going to get on my nerves.)
Anton insisted that he ws the best date and that he;d have scored with pamela...his vanity is outrageous.
Mark is an interesting HM - his story of the Thai dogbite and the anti-rabies injection was a delightful piece of self mockery. Likewise little Tom's certainty that Pamela would be foolish not to give him a second date.
Meanwhile, mein Fuhrer Aaron confided in the DR that he is ready for the blood letting which is inevitable in the house. He's looking forward to it in fact. I rather suspect that he is.

Thanks for that perceptive build-up of impressions of the HMs, Marion.
I think the first two HMs into the House, Mark and Maisie, are the most engaging so far. Mark Mark for possible winner?

Not too impressed with most of the others but - unlike Marion? - I think highly of Aaron and Louise as quasi-seasoned wisdom-holders. "Well worth a closer look."

But spot prize for Anton quoting George Orwell (even if pre-prepared during brainstorming sessions with his advisers before entering the BB House) - "in the land of Deceit, Truth is a Revolutionary act". Is that a genuine quote? Not checked it out, but it rings true and sits well with my own "synchronised shards of random truth & fiiction."

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*Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act. "

I agree the early standouts are Mark, Aaron, Louise, and Maisie. Ghastly Anton may help the girls to prominence as their reactions to him are very funny as he pursues them from corner to corner.
Aaron sees himself as the eminence grise of the house and invites us to join in the conspiracy. His fate will depend on how soon the others cotton on to him, and if he carries out all that he promises us. At the moment, it's a relief to hear him talk as he is actually articulate.
Mark may well be the cleverest of them all.
What about Harry? he was funny in the kitchen withPamela when she thought there was a mouse and he said it was a fox and demanded it be shot. Nice revenge for her lecturing. He could be a developer.

Yes Harry is a slow burner or blind boil. I'd forgotten about him. Can anyone win who (illegally?) chases and kills foxes with hounds...?
(BTW, Marion, hope it's not too windy up there!)

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