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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 2:57 pm 
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des2 wrote:
"The lifestyle guru, Gillian McKeith, entered the house then, attired in a black shift dress with what looked like green tissue paper flowers stuck all over it. She resembled a black binbag with Kryptonite bursting out of it. I would not put my style in the hands of this flowerpot lady."

Thanks, Marion, that explains it. And what a brilliant description.

And I had forgotten about Tiff'a thing about guns and her playacting belief that the Engksih constitution is the same as the American one,
I've gone right off our Tiff.



I agree. I had started to like her - crediting her with playing up to an ironic streak.But she keeps hitting wrong notes now.
No, Darren it must be. He's a decent kind of bloke, I think. The rest are shameless in their urge to win. I'm certian BB despises them too - samples, for goodness sake. He's laughing his head off waiting to see who cooperates. It's humiliate the HMs time! Not that they need any help from BB to achieve that!


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 11:02 pm 
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Most Entertaining

Apologies in advance but I reused to watch McKryptonite analysing her samples in full public view. I have a delicate stomach and I will not upset it even for the BB thread.

McK was laying down the law about foodstuffs and smoking and such. Danniella openly took a stand against her . Respect to her – the other HMs sneaked around stealing titbits while pretending to cooperate.

Toxic Stephanie was banned from going near Jeremy but found a way to his bed.
Danniella, Gemma, John and Scotty were rewarded for being the purest HMs by being allowed to nominate. Universally, HMs voted to put Jeremy and Stephanie up for eviction, with the exception of Scotty who nominated Stephanie and Tiffany. All were bored with the Stephanie and Jeremy romance. Tiffany was up because she sickened Scotty by telling him about McK’s speciality. I missed that part and I’m glad I did.

Toxic HMs were ordered back to the clinic. Tiffany refused to go and wanted to leave the house. Stephanie also refused to go and spun round saying that she was the most entertaining in the houset Backed up by one another, they threw a joint tantrum, cursing and swearing and shouting abuse. Tiffany harangued the HMs, wanting to know who nominated her. The HMs looked so weary of her. Danniella and John pointed out that her rantings and ravings were all put on for the camera, not real. They were right, I think. She’s not a very good actress.

For variety, Tiffany raved and ranted in the garden about not wanting to live with people who didn’t want to live with her. Her voice rose so high that she was virtually incoherent, apart from the swear words.

Stephanie did some foot stamping too – richly littered with all sorts of nasty words. The camera panned round the HMs faces – so fed up, so tired of these childish and stressful outbursts. Stephanie cut a ludicrous figure as she ranted and finally Danniella told her she’d never work again if she carried on like that.
Stephanie was disappointed that Danniella, to whom she had always been loyal, should say such a thing. Danniella replied that, like everyone else in the house, she was bored listening to Stephanie, in fact she was embarrassed to know her.
Stephanie is never going to speak to Danniella again.
If only that were true!

A shrieking Stephanie fled to the DR and demanded Jeremy so that she could say goodbye before she left the house. She says that BB is showing her in a bad light and ran out and battered at the clinic door, screaming for Jeremy. Security was called again and I thought she might be taken off to the padded cell again, but no, they let her into Jeremy. She cursed and abused Danniella from the safety of his arms, calmed down, sniffled and cried, and went back to the DR to rant some more at BB. Eventually she went back to the clinic with Jeremy and squeezed into a narrow bed with him. Poor man – it must be murder to be confined in such a small room with that screeching harridan.

While this was going on, John was trying to calm Danniella down who was trying to pass off her comments as concern for Stephanie whom she really likes and is only trying to give advce to.
Silly Daniella – she has not liked Stephanie from the beginning,for very good reasons, she’s sick and tired of nuclear explosions in the house and she should stick by her guns and say so.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:16 am 
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The supply of samples, examination of them and later discussion about their nature was probably the most incredible thing I have ever seen on TV. But for Marion's sake, I will not go into details.

I found last night generally fraught rather than entertaining. And again security staff (however ineffectual) were needed, this time for Stephanie.

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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 2:28 pm 
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des2 wrote:
The supply of samples, examination of them and later discussion about their nature was probably the most incredible thing I have ever seen on TV. But for Marion's sake, I will not go into details.

I found last night generally fraught rather than entertaining. And again security staff (however ineffectual) were needed, this time for Stephanie.


I didn't even find it fraught (apart from McK), just boring. I emphasised entirely with HMs weariness at yet another 'spontaneous' eruption from shrieking harridans. What must it be like to sit in that closed off house in small areas with their screeching echoing off the walls?
Stephanie and her neuroses and issues to go tonight.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 11:46 pm 
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Not Feeling Famous

McK was gone tonight – she did make some irritating phone calls but these could be tolerated because the HMs swore at her. The phone calls were part of te shopping task. The house and garden were full of telephones and hMs had to identify which phone was ringing when the time came. Phone calls from family and friends were promised but only if HMs could guess their identity through a yes/no answer session/ Also, talk time would run out if they spent too long on the phone.

In the meantime, in the DR, Stephanie got a very gentle ticking off from BB . She’s not to kick the doors or touch the cameras or she’s out.
Wasn’t that what they told her on padded cell night?

The first calls were from McK – HMs didn’t want to use all their talk-time so made short shrift of her. That was good to hear. So was their mockery of her goals.

Many tears were shed as HMs got their phone calls. Darren’s wife was as emotional and tearful as he was.
So genuine that I got quite tearful myself. John was also a weeper when his sister called.

McK, desperate to be listened to, promised them more talk time if they achieved her goals: no smoking, drinking, or eating unhealthily.
Jeremy, John and Stephanie ignore her strictures and smoked away. Stephanie won pizzas for the house on one phone call, but Gemma made her send them back to the store. John was not pleased.

Gemma confided to Tiffany that in spite of her four years in TOWIE, she didn’t feel famous ad didn’t crave the celebrity life. Oh, she might think of a Bentley from time to time…
Oh, said Tiffany, a Bentley isn’t a sign of celebrity. Nice car, nothing special.
Crushing.

Tiffany misbehaved again while discussing Jeremy and Stephanie in bed and the noise they make with Danniella. It turns her on, she said.

All the while, Stephanie was waiting for a phone call which never came. The BFF, unsurprisingly, didn’t ring. And her father didn’t which saddened the girl because she did want her Dad to be proud of her.
Oh, dear – if she was mine I’d wring her neck!

Tiffany confided in Jeremy that she’d like sex with Scotty and then launched into a long description of her vagina. He was stunned into silence.
Well, what is there to say? I concentrated instead on a pale blue teapot with enamelled swallows on it on a table. So fresh and pretty.

The loved up duo put on quite a performance in bed, keeping Gemma and Danniella awake and cringing. Stephanie was making Jeremy promise not to touch anyone else. Slerp slurp grunt slurp. She told him she was falling in love with him. Gemma and Danniella couldn’t stand it. They went to the kitchen eventually to make a cuppa, complaining that the pair had no respect. Then Danniella told Gemma about what Tiffany said and they howled. It was the first genuine laughter I’ve seen for a while.

In the DR, Tiffany reckoned that Stephanie would go tonight. She intends having fun with Jeremy once she’s away. She needs a good…
I’ll leave it to your imagination.

In the end, Jeremy was evicted. Stephanie wept and screamed ‘NONONO’ and followed him up the stairs shouting ‘I love you.’ And trying to hold him back. I could see he was becoming irritated by her. Of course she’s no further use to him now.

Stephanie returned to the couched in the living room, pale and frail as Ophelia floating downriver and toyed with a locket he’d given her.

Jeremy’s interview was dull as ditchwater. All he talked about was Stephanie. He’s as boring outside the house as in.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 8:26 am 
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I like your Ophelia image, Marion, and your recourse to the pale blue teapot with swallows as a moral oasis.

It was mostly boring last night, and couldn't help comparing Jeremy's face with his neck (with a sharply defined division between them) as he was interviewed. The face was empty, the neck was Hell.

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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 2:29 pm 
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des2 wrote:
I like your Ophelia image, Marion, and your recourse to the pale blue teapot with swallows as a moral oasis.

It was mostly boring last night, and couldn't help comparing Jeremy's face with his neck (with a sharply defined division between them) as he was interviewed. The face was empty, the neck was Hell.


:mrgreen: :mrgreen: He looks as if he's being taken over by a virulent fungus that erupts in sores. Hellweed fungus?


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 12:17 am 
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You Get What You Get

Pre-Eviction

Danniella complained to Darren about Stephanie and Jeremy’s behaviour last night; Gemma complained to Tiffany of sleeplessness. I have to say I have total sympathy.

In the DR, Stephanie was convinced that she would be evicted. She managed to mention the BBF and Jeremy as the reason. She followed her heart though.
If only the tedious biddy had gone last night. Everyone thought she would and was glad. It might have been Jeremy’s surprise display of an erection that swung the votes her way – pretty disgusting.

In the DR, Scotty explained the journey he had been on. He’d spent years partying and running wild, but now that he had talked to interesting people (in that house?) and gained their high opinion of him (do these people’s opinions really matter?) he wants something more – travel…er…er… He kind of falterd there but we all know what he meant. I think. The question is, if you can’t identify what it is yu want to do, does it count as a journey?

The shopping task and the phone calls continued today. Amidst calls from PPI and credit card companies (I blushingly must admit to enjoying them being told to F off), Stephanie got a call from her Dad. She did, of course, make a drama out of it – howling and crying as soon as she heard his voice. He had to praise her to the skies, tell her how funny she is, how proud he is, how fantastic she is before she calmed down. I imagine he’s spent her entire 22 years on this planet stroking her ego. It’s no wonder that she’s turned out so badly.
And no, he hasn’t heard from her BFF.
C’est la vie.


Danniella and John noticed that Stephanie had used more than her fair share of Talk Time. Well, she thinks she’s entitled. She was so thrilled with her phone call that she and Jeremy lay on the bed and played with one another’s legs.

Danniella had a phone call from a friend called Tamar. Gemma was so thrilled that she burst my eardrums shrieking her delight and then walked round the house squealing and calling his name.
So who is Tamar? Gemma told Tiffany that the call from him was the equivalent of a call from Jennifer Lopez.
I still haven’t worked out who he is.

BTW, my blue teapot wasn’t a teapot at all/ It was a phone. What a delightful phone! I wouldn’t mind taking even PPI calls on that phone!

While things were getting really heated under Jeremy and Stephanie’s duvet, John took a call from his partner who loves and is proud of him. John wept. Again.
Gemma’s Mum phoned with the news that she can walk again. You can see where Gemma gets her sense of the dramatic from. She went into the kitchen, all mystical and moved ,’She can walk again.’ After all Gemma’s prayers, Mum can walk again.I know I shouldn’t have laughed but…

Jeremy came over all romantic under the duvet. He spoke of having one hand holding her by the hair, another on either his or her backside, and some action with a sex toy.
I’m so glad I’m past the dating stage if this is what passes for romance amongst youngsters.
He also said they should have a breathing space when they’re out of the house to be sure she’s all right in her head.
Jeremy, she’ll never be all right in her head!
She says she’s never met a man like him before.
The pair sneaked off together for a last embrace. She’s done whatshe’s done, she said, been a slut, but she’ll wait for him.

Danniella also thought that Stephanie would go and said that you get what you get when you behave in a certain way. But she was wrong – it was Jeremy who was evicted although Stephanie got some heart boos from the crowd, which, Danniella feels, she deserved.

You have to have a certain respect for Danniella – all the HMs feel the same way about Stephanie but she is the only one who calls a spade a spade. She regarded the HMs crowding round Stephanie to comfort her with dark irony in her eyes. They all blame her for Jeremy’s downfall and yet they fussed over her like a favourite child come down with tonsillitis.

Stephanie drifted off to the garden, alone and palely loitering, resembling a frozen orange drink on a stick in that dress, so still she sat.

She wept and played with her locket and told Scotty she really loved Jeremy. She too has been on a journey – she used to think only of herself but not any more. She snivelled and sobbed and would not be comforted. John joined them and forbade crying for the rest of their time in the house..
You could see they all dread a week of Stephanie emoting all over the place.

Danniella tried to build bridges with Stephanie and was firmly rebuffed. Stephanie went off to loiter elsewhere. ‘It’s all for show,’ Danniella said drily. Which again, is true.

In the DR, Tiffany was over the moon to be saved, humbled, honoured etc etc
She too hopes that Stephanie will not spend the last few days whining and snivelling.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 7:51 am 
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"So who is Tamar? Gemma told Tiffany that the call from him was the equivalent of a call from Jennifer Lopez.
I still haven’t worked out who he is."

Who is Jennifer Lopez?

A wonderful report, Marion, what can I possibly add?

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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 3:00 pm 
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des2 wrote:
"So who is Tamar? Gemma told Tiffany that the call from him was the equivalent of a call from Jennifer Lopez.
I still haven’t worked out who he is."

Who is Jennifer Lopez? :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

A wonderful report, Marion, what can I possibly add?


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 11:48 pm 
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A Dagger In The Heart

John was quite impressive tonight. He tried to broker a peace between Dannielle and Stephanie. Hs reasoning is that it’s heir last few days in the house. We already know that he doesn’t want a tearful moping Stephanie spoiling things; now he wants a truce. In the end, Danniella as ever being willing to let bygones be bygones, the two women hugged.

Darren had a problem with Stephanie too. She wanted to borrow a cream top of his because all her clothes are in the wash. He and John agreed that Stephanie would ruin whatever she borrowed – remember Megan’s new tracksuit? And the famous unwashed knickers? Why on earth isn’t the girl washing her clothes?

Gemma comforted Stephanie with the thought that she’s certain Stephanie and Jeremy will be together. Stephanie was breathless with pleasure at the idea.

The task tonight involved HMs being chained together and freed one by one if they got a question about the other HMs right. For example, who did the public vote the mot entertaining? Answer Tiffany. I quote that one although the other questions were equally silly because Gemma’s face would have curdled milk when she found out that Tiffany was most entertaining.
The task was a fail from BB’s point of view though – no one fell out about their decisions. HMs took an entirely pragmatic view of the game and got through it without incident.

Stephanie regaled the HMs with tales of the time she went out with Dave from One Direction. He was mad for her, of course, and had to be reminded that she wasn’t that kind of girl (Stephanie, you were always that kind of girl) and in the end she dropped him, not he her. Yeah, sure.

BB announced that all the HMs bar Stephanie were guilty of discussing nominations. Stephanie was rewarded with the gift of a killer nomination. She chose Danniella, of course, because Danniella’s remarks about her never getting work again really hurt, they were a dagger in her heart.
But they were reconciled! Well, yes, they were, and to prove it Stephanie hugged Danniella again when BB told her Stephanie had nominated her.
Oh, there’s daggers in Stephanie’s hugs!

John and Tiffany shared a howling good laugh over Gemma’s reaction to Tiffany’s popularity. I almost liked John there.

Danniella and Darren told tales of their rehab days and how their careers had been impacted. There was love and understanding of their problems all round. Love and understanding is something Stephanie cannot bear to see being given to someone other than herself, so she brought up her row with Gemma AGAIN. Finally, Danniella apologised but Stephanie kept on and on, on and on, daggers in the heart and so on. She wouldn’t drop it even when she was returning Danniella’s embrace. She doesn’t believe Danniella’s assertion that she was warning Stephanie because she cared.
It was Darren who said firmly that he and Danniella knew what it was like to be unemployable.

The HMs fell to making embarrassing confessions. Danniella is a member of the Mile High Club; Scotty once had sex in a bus shelter; John in a puppet show; Tiffany on a beach; Danniella and Gemma both confessed to cheating on a partner (Danniella with an England player, she said with an air of triumph);Tiffany has cheated on 80% of her partners although she has been with the same penis for the last four years (what a derogatory was to speak of her partner!). Scotty felt he had to top all this and told of a Chinese girl in Ibiza with whom he engaged and while in the act soiled the bed but carried on regardless.
I don’t think he understands why no one looked all that impressed. I mean, why would anyone brag about that?

The HMs party last night was a scene from the Decameron – twerking, groping, simulating sex. Stephanie managed to have a very good time with Scotty even though she was in mourning for Jeremy. Tiffany took one of her coarse moods and described graphically what she would do with Scotty. Even after the Chinese girl story, she still lusts after him.

She continued in that vein in the DR. She’s going to make a move on Scotty. If Scotty dips his whatsit in the ocean that is Tiffany, he’s whipped. And he’s going to give in.
What happened to her uncheated on partner?

In the DR, John pondered on Tiffany’s rise in the house. Everyone wants to be her friend now that they all know she’s popular on the outside. Poor Gemma knows she’s been outplayed. There was much to ponder.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Scotty flitted around Tiffany and they had a little kiss.
‘Thank you, Lord,’ she said when he left.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 8:39 am 
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It's a shame I can't get 100% behind any of these HMs to win.
It has been a patchy and depressing series.
And not even one swan.
The highlight has been Marion's reports.

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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 2:01 pm 
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des2 wrote:
It's a shame I can't get 100% behind any of these HMs to win.
It has been a patchy and depressing series.
And not even one swan.
The highlight has been Marion's reports.


It had its moments. Tiffany's reaction to David's death; Darren's retreat from Tiffany's advances - is this a task?; knickergate; Stephanie locked up in the darkened room; the kryptonite dress; Scotty''s eyes popping at Nancy. There was potential for a great series but as ever, everyone and every possible scenario was sacrificed to fauxmance and the drivellings of an hysterical and deeply unpleasant chit with dirty habits. Inevitably all the HMs fussed over her shrieking attention seeking and lost their own potential as HMs except perhaps Danniella and Darren.
This situation infuriates me.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 11:26 pm 
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Went The Day Well?

It was Gemma’s 35th birthday today and the day started badly. The house was deprived of hot water and appliances because of eviction talk from Stephanie. She didn’t even say sorry. John looked ready to kill her.
Tiffany had her own problems – she couldn’t sleep and so had to induce her own orgasm to calm herself. She was graphic.
Tiffany is fascinating in her way – we all know that a bit of duvet action works well with the public. Lacking a partner, she has fabricated a narrative of what MIGHT happen with Jeremy or Scotty or even Darren. Ad now tis. You have to give her that much – she is a trier!

In the DR, an exhausted Gemma received her birthday greetings, a purple party hat and a little birthday cake. She was too tired to appreciate such largesse. In fact, shortly after she went on a protest strike over the absence of hot water for the shower. She hid in the loo off camera and stayed there, refusing to perform for BB. She cried over the hot water and would not put up with having no shower, no hair tongs, no makeup/

Meanwhile, the HMs were given a secret mission: to sabotage her birthday treats to win her spectacular treats in the evening. So two of them drank the brandy meant for her, John and Darren had a food fight with her buffet (it was actually amusing), and Scotty threw her birthday cake and candles across the garden. Gemma remained unfazed by it all, determinedly not minding. The piece de resistance tuned out to be Tiffany’s sabotage. She gave the birthday speech for Gemma and hilariously made it all about herself and her birthdays (including ridiculous ruffles and ruby red lipstick) from the age of 5. On and on she went, enthusiastically praising birthdays and not even mentioning Gemma, until finally she finished with an amazing twirl and her hands raised to heaven. She reminded me of Gwyneth Paltrow’s acceptance speech at the Oscars. Gemma did look a little bit put out.

And poor Darren – he had to select his own music to be played for Gemma. I’m not sure it was fair to class that as sabotage.

HMs had to nominate tonight. The best one were Scotty’s and Darren’s. Scotty nominated Stephanie because she hasn’t washed her clothes in days.Presumably her knickers are included in that and tat explains why she was going round tonight itching at her crotch.
Oh, that clatty girl!

Darren nominated Tiffany because he’s still uncomfortable around her after she made advances to him. Tiffany nominated him because she’s tired of him avoiding her.
Lesson for Tiffany: don’t scare the wildlife witless!

But the secret mission was eventually revealed and Gemma had a bonanza of gifts from BB: an Essex blow dry, acrylic nails treatment, a pamper hamper, cards from outside, and best of all, 15 minutes with a gorgeous little Shetland pony. I was terrified that she might try and sit on the little beast but she contented herself with walking it round the garden. They should have brought in the ducks as well as competition for cuteness.

She pronounced her brthday part wnderful after a mad, bizarre day.

Her birthday tea was fabulous, absolutely fabulous and the party afterwards descended into openly sexual behaviour, especially from Scotty and Stephanie who both wriggled and gyrated suggestively.
Tiffany is one to call a man’s bluff and she called Scotty’s. She demanded proper kissing and let him rove over her a little and then a lot. Then he fled.

Scotty thinks she is trying to molest him. She says he pays but doesn’t deliver, a mere boy. There isn’t a man who wouldn’t have …well, done all kinds of things which she again graphically described to John. She told him she wasn’t going to beg for it

In the DR, Scotty vowed that Tiffany would never get her hands on his…He’s used to most girls acting like that with him.
He was surprisingly prim when I remember the Chinese girl in Ibiza. I also susopect Tiffany is right – he’s all talk!


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 8:51 am 
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Marion Arnott wrote:
Lacking a partner, she has fabricated a narrative of what MIGHT happen with Jeremy or Scotty or even Darren. Ad now tis. You have to give her that much – she is a trier!


I am coming back round to her. Both that and her classic Birthday speech. And what a brilliant voiceover from Marcus, when he referred to Scotty's Epiphany with Tiffany. I wish I had thought of that!
Also I laughed at Scotty's "she's not getting a slice of my chopper".

I thought the task was fabricated and Gemma knew exactly what was going on. The cake fight was absurd and the three songs sung by Darren, well, not too bad at all. That was probably put into his contract at outset that that would happen to help realign his celebrity profile.

The Shetland pony was almost as wonderful as the flock of white ducks. We only need a swan now to make our day.

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