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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 8:42 am 
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Not only was the flock of white ducks the stars of last night, they're the biggest stars of BB EVER.
Perfect synchronised gracefulness. A swan as gestalt.

When, Marion, you originally said Gemma was from the TV show called TOWIE, I had no idea what you meant. Looked it up last night and found THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX.
Despite this, I am still proud to live in Essex and to have been born and bred there.
And a good title in itself, as a proverb!

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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 2:36 pm 
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des2 wrote:
Not only was the flock of white ducks the stars of last night, they're the biggest stars of BB EVER.
Perfect synchronised gracefulness. A swan as gestalt.

When, Marion, you originally said Gemma was from the TV show called TOWIE, I had no idea what you meant. Looked it up last night and found THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX.
Despite this, I am still proud to live in Essex and to have been born and bred there.
And a good title in itself, as a proverb!


I don't imagine Gemma would appear in your social circles, Des; the ducks yes, Gemma never. :x


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 12:45 am 
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Knickers!

Pre-eviction

It was a coarse show tonight and laden with spite. Very unappealing. From the outset, Gemma and Danniella were trying to sway the vote against Stephanie. Gemma in particular was getting Danniella all wound up while playing the innocent. Jeremy defended Stephanie to Danniella of course – but to no avail. Gemma had been too successful in winding her up.

In the DR, Stephanie was moaning about the horrible atmosphere in the house and the scenes Gemma causes when she knows she’s in the wrong.

WEell, Stephanie, you do have some legitimate grounds for complaint, but BB has never had to call security on Gemma.

Everything came to a head when Darren, Chris and John were sorting dirty laundry. It was rather queasy to watch them grinning over ladies’ underwear, but John made a real sick bucket scenario of it. ‘pigeon shit!’ he gleefully yelled at a soiled pair of panties. Unidentified items of laundry were left on the kitchen unit – the three had fun grimacing about the knickers and John, sparkling with malice, decided to identify and name and shame the owner. He went into the bedroom and told all present about the knickers, which occasioned talk of vaginal discharge and some very coarse remarks. Danniella thought that since the knickers were Stephanie’s, he might eat them. That;ll give you a flavour of the level of conversation.

Was John's spreading of the gspel revengefor anomination? Well, he as his revenge. The girl is utterly humiliated and he has shown how low he'll go.

Jeremy actually took away the offending lingerie and washed it, while Stephanie had to admit it was hers. She confided that she’d had some trouble down below – too much information, Stephanie, much too much. Gemma and Daniniella made much of the dirty knickers – Danniella has been complaining about Stephanie’s dirty habits from the beginning; Gemma with a gleeful malice which matched John’s. Stephanie complained of being embarrassed but Danniella reminded her of some personal remarks she’d made when Danniella had a mouth abscess. So Stephanie retaliated with comments about smelling Gemma’s DV.

Stephanie ended up in ears in the garden, Danniella in the bedroom, and Gemma decided that they should run away. They left by the fire escape. For all of three minutes.

Chris spotted that Gemma was the cause of Danniella’s extreme upset with her constant stirring but is ineffectual as always in dealing with it in the face of gemma’s hurt at the things which have been said about and to her.
Dear Gemma, as an older woman, you should not have stooped to take part in the Knickergate discussions, you should have stopped them. And Danniella, you should not have kept referring to crusty knickers to humiliate the girl.

Tiffany took Stephanie aside and sympathised with her humiliation. She sort of manoeuvred her into blaming John for Knickergate. Well, he certainly took the ball and ran with it. She asked permission to tackle John, to be the big bad wolf who would sort it all out – she feels that he should be named and shamed.

She tackled John, saying that he was the Puppetmaster and everyone in the house marched to his beat. He denied starting up the knicker row – oh, thef ibber! He flashed the news all round the house! He was patronising and shifty but when Tiffany would’t see things his way, a change came over him. He sat fiddling with a string or something and his face hardened. He looked positively wicked as he sneered at Tiffany and told her he didn’t have to come out the winner, he’d already won. That he didn’t need any friends but that she did.

Arrogant, paronising, and threatening. He gave me the shivers. The tiger in the room looked friendlier than he did.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 9:29 am 
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Thanks, Marion - I think!
Glad I didn't have to describe that 'pigeon shit' incident. Lovely ducks, then pigeon shit. We can only hope for a swan now to cleanse the palate again after the pigeons.

The loaded chat last night between Jacksy John and Big Bad Wolf Tiff was classic BB. I'm beginning to like Tiff.
Her later DiRty talk about Scotty T was hilarious.

Dan and Gem discharging themselves through the emergency door and then coming back with their career-tails between their legs was par for the course.

Tiff to win.

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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 12:47 pm 
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des2 wrote:
Thanks, Marion - I think!
Glad I didn't have to describe that 'pigeon shit' incident. Lovely ducks, then pigeon shit. We can only hope for a swan now to cleanse the palate again after the pigeons.

The loaded chat last night between Jacksy John and Big Bad Wolf Tiff was classic BB. I'm beginning to like Tiff.
Her later DiRty talk about Scotty T was hilarious.

Dan and Gem discharging themselves through the emergency door and then coming back with their career-tails between their legs was par for the course.

Tiff to win.


Tiff is winning me round too She is tolerable and has a humorous glint in her eye. But Scotty, Turbo-D, surely not!


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:12 am 
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What was wrong with the boards last night? Icouldn't post!


Is It A Task?


Tonight was an object lesson in why women so rarely win the show. They indulge in their rivalries with one another when it fact the real competition is the men. Men generally just accept one another as they are while the women are so busy ripping one one anothers’ hearts out that they don’t see that the men are quietly and steadily pulling ahead Are not Christopher, Darren and Jeremy far more likeable? They don’t plunge us into a witch’s cauldron of seething hysterical emotion. It is so wearing just listening to the women.

As a reward for winning immunity, Gemma was granted a professional blow dry – not that it was as good as an Essex blow dry – provided the whole house went without hot water for the day. No contest as far as Gemma was concerned. In the DR, Stephanie had a great deal to say about that. Why, the thought of Gemma’s reaction had she not got her blow dry made Stephanie bray like a donkey, over and over, hee-haw, hee-haw.

Meanwhile Stephanie was telling Jeremy, much to his delight, that she only wanted to be loved, that that was what she had always wanted.

Gemma, a new woman with her new hairstyle, and with a new confidence because of winning her task, decided to play Lady Bountiful and help out around the house, a thing never before seen. She seized a potato and a huge kitchen knife asked if you had to wash it first, and began peeling. She’d only scraped a curl of potato skin when she cut her hand and was rushed by Chris to the DR with her hand in the air. I thought she was being dramatic until I saw the amount of blood n the chopping board. Se ended up at the hospital getting stitches put in.

Tiffany came upon Daniella weeping in the toilet. Over a cut finger? No, it was just Danniella struggling with the atmosphere in the house.
Danniella really is cracking under the strain, I think.

For tonight’s Theatre Task, HMs were given two lives one of which could be taken away by a HM who answered a question correctly. Questions were that old favourite kind – ‘Who is the HM most likely to bitch behind your back/sell a story to the newspapers/ be over dramatic etc etc. Dannielle was keen to win because for some reason she had got into her head that she would be allowed a phone call as her prize, as well as immunity. She told the others how much this meant to her. Would your believe it – what a surprise- Stephanie got to take lives three times and chose Danniella twice which knocked her out of the competition. She threw a massive tantrum in response and stormed out of the theatre, fafter kicking the door several times, followed by Gemma. Poor Stephanie for her character given richly adorned with F words.

Does Gemma try to comfort her and calm her own? No. She winds her up and the two made the Great Escape through the fire door. For the second time. Eventually they returned, of course, and BB was a bit stricter with them, telling them the appropriate way to get out if they wanted to go. Pause.the two assured BB that they didn’t want to go. Nd that was that.
But what was the point?

Jeremy and Stephanie were the last men standing in the task and, aw shucks, lovelorn Jeremy let her win.

In the house, John was quick to criticise the Great Escapers who exhibited a pattern of attention seeking behaviour to his mind. Thoughtful Chris, sunk in thought decided that Gemma was playing Danniella – that’s true. Unfortunately, he can’t think what to do about it.

There followed a genuinely comedic scene. Tiffany approached Darren in the kitchen, telling him, without being disrespectful, that she finds him very sexy. And masculine.
‘I’m a happily married man,’ he whimpered.
He looks 30, not 47, she told him. He backed away, repeating that he’s happily married and that there’s only one woman for him and that’s his wife. He backed away a bit further.
‘Is this a task?’ he asked.

Last night, she had her sights fixed on Scotty. Tonight it was Darren. Her eyes sparkled with mischief. I don’t know what she’s up to but she provided much needed light relief!


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:39 am 
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I had a few things to say this morning but found this thread unobtainable. But now they have gone from my head and now Marion's report covers all the events brilliantly, so will merely say, thanks, Marion.

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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 12:28 am 
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Love Fest

As part of her prize, Stephanie won a massage and facial on condition that the huse went without appliances and hot water for another day. Nobly she refused but the others, who all loved her all of a sudden, persuaded her to accept.

Gemma confided to Chris and John that her biological clock was ticking – 35 years old and no children. She feels it sometimes. John and Chris praise her career achievements (that’s why she ended up on BB). Her views on motherhood are odd – she could arrange a wedding in a month and bang a kid one out but she knows she could never have got where she is (that is, acting like a stroppy teenager on BB) if she’d had one earlier.

Gemma gave Darren a colonic massage complete with graphic details of intestinal transit which I won’t bother to report. Suffice is it to say that Darren obediently went to the loo to relieve himself. She then announced that she needed a wee and barged in on him in the toilet. I suppose she was just checking that he performed on cue. I could have done without that.

Scotty and Chris grilled Jeremy on the subject of the state of play between him and \Stephanie. I found myself saying aloud ‘DON’T START HIM OFF!’ but alas too late. Off he went mumbling and insisting he couldn’t help how he felt about her. On second thoughts, the intestinal transit was more interesting.

Shortly after, Jeremy and Stephanie were back in bed, writhing a bit and energetically kissing. They got quite lively until suddenly she rolled away. She is a bit of a tease, isn’t she?

In the DR, Tiffany declared that she couldn’t stand the love fest in the house. I thought she meant S and K, but she was actually referring to the HMs attempts to be nice to one another and pretend to care. She is spoiling for a fight and no one is giving her a reason.

Chris took the opposite view when he sat in the big chair – he;s so glad the girls have sorted out their differences. He’s a nice young man but really…

It was back to the |Forgotten Theatre for a last chance to win immunity and join Stephanie and Gemma in safety from eviction. HMs were given points if they correctly identified the hellish ingredients in the cocktails they were given. This resulted in the usual retching, vomiting, and an outright refusal from Tiffany to take part. The cocktails must have been bad for her to pass up the chance of immunity.In the end, Darren won. The three HMs with immunity then had to decide which 3 HMs could not attend their party as there were only six invitations. Danniella didn’t mind being Cinderella as she looked exhausted anyway. Chris didn’t mind not getting an invitation because he never minds anything. Tiffany, however, minded very much not being asked along. She approached Gemma, saying again that she felt she was in the Twilight Zone, excluded, the eternal outsider. Gemma was very kind but trouble was brewing – you know the harm the Bad Fairy can cause when she doesn’t get invited somewhere.

Sure enough, she and Daniella had a quiet drink together. Danniella, only wanting an early night, left the bottle of Proseco to Tiffany who went into the toilet to drink it.
It was so predictable – that lady never REALLY loses control of herself for an instant and we never actually saw her drink the wine – but it was obvious she was going to be drunk and cause mischief. She started off by slurring that she had been somewhat sex deprived lately and hadn’t come for weeks and then joined the others when the party was over.

The party goers were all dressed in their finest; Stephanie in particular had a beautiful black and gold ballgown. All I could think of was her dirty knickers. See, girl, you don’t take enough care of your image. The men were smartly dressed apart form Scotty who at the first opportunity removed his shirt which he does as often as he can.

A kissing Truth Or Dare game was started and Tiffany was an enthusiastic participant. She kissed Scotty and made a meal of Jeremy although she declared Scotty was the Big Man. Darren looked so relieved that she passed him by. Chris and John had a few jokes about Stephanie’s nightie in bed while Tiffany went after Scotty again. He and Jeremy ended up romping in the pool where Jeremy went full frontal. Tiffany cheered them on and they both crawled across the grass to her.
I can safely say she made her mark tonight.

Stephanie, still not feeling well, had gone to bed. Jeremy confessed that he had been in a clinch with Tiffany. She pretended not to care. I think he was disappointed. She sulked and would not take part in their nightly thus-far-and-no-furthers but would not say why she was angry.

Tiffany followed Scotty into the bathroom and peeped through the doors at his magnificent physique, cooing over it and flattering him. She particularly admired his more personal proportions. This will probably work as his vanity knows no bounds.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 8:08 am 
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From erstwhile pigeon shit to last night's massaging of colon shit, and then, via blatantly fabricated Tifflust, ending, thankfully, with the statues of two white doves.

Most of last night, though, nauseated me on all levels.

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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 7:08 pm 
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It was nauseating indeed. I don't know how much worse it can get or how much more I can take. I thought with the departure of Megan and her constant cries of s***, we had seen the last of excrement. And the humour of Tiffany the sexual terrorist stalking Darren boded well but it all deteriorated into something quite disgusting last night. Bring back the snow white swan whose sole function is to be beautiful and above everything grubby.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:00 am 
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I think Marion meant it!
Meantime, I glanced at last night's eviction show.
Neither here nor there that Christopher has left.
I suspect Darren will eventually win, and he is probably my own choice in a bad choice.
Presented with fabricated allusions to his handsomeness from the ladies, he called his face a bag of spanners. (If so, mine is a burglar's swag).
I do NOT relish the arrival of the holistic lady.
Only a giraffe last night, and not a single sign of a swan, I'm afraid. :(

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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:57 pm 
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McKryptonite

This report will be short and sweet as I refuse to discus McKryptonite’s requests for samples of excrement and the attendant discussions of said samples. It was a new low for BB and I won’t go there.

Almost interesting was Tiffany teaching the HMs how to twerk. Apparently you just wobble your rear and go down. In Tiffany’s case, it wasn’t just her rear that wobbled= I suspect that was why she was wearing the tight knitted dress= everything did. Fine if you like that kind of thing.

It really was the Stephanie show tonight. She showed Jeremy her intimate areas for the last time just in case he was evicted: she wept in McKryptonite’s clinic and underwent a complete personality change after about three minutes with the good guru’; she was the main topic of conversation in the house at the level of Danniella’s opening gambit: You’ve got a BFF…
We know Danniella, we know. We get told fifty times an hour about her BFF. We are sick hearing about the silly chav’s BFF!

Gemma was unwell tonight. She seemed to think she was dying when she went into the DR.
All I could think of was ‘well, get on with it then!’

Tiffany also underwent a transformation. One minute she was kicking down the doors of the clinic to get out, but miraculously, after two minutes with the good guru, she became a willing subject.

Never in my life have I seen such twaddle!

You’re right about Darren, Des. He’s the only half decent one in there.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 8:28 am 
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I did not understand at all what those samples needed by the holistic lady were all about. Perhaps best not to know!
But what's this McKryptonite, Marion?

Tiff was certainly playacting last night, as she has probably done the whole time.

Just a tiger last night.

Otherwise, yes, nothing but twaddling and twerking.

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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:46 pm 
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des2 wrote:
I did not understand at all what those samples needed by the holistic lady were all about. Perhaps best not to know!
But what's this McKryptonite, Marion?

Tiff was certainly playacting last night, as she has probably done the whole time.

Just a tiger last night.

Otherwise, yes, nothing but twaddling and twerking.



Eeeek...I'm missing a post! I definitely pasted it into the thread - must have forgotten to press submit! I'll post it now and all will become clear.
McKrytonite wants stool samples from them all, for God's sake!

Karma

Emma announced that a very special guest was going into the house: Gillian McKeith.
Who?
I was pleased to hear later that some of the HMs didn’t know who she was. Apparently she’s a lifestyle guru.

Stephanie was still sulking about last night. Danniella told her it was Karma – now she knows how her BFF feels seeing her cuddling with another man.
Stephanie protested that she wouldn’t do that to Jeremy.
Yes, dear, but what about your BFF?

Scotty, the glamour boy, had his shirt off again today. He’s getting a bit podgy, isn’t he?

Jeremy came sniffing round his sulky sullen dame. Stephanie turned him away and when he left declared she’s F****d up her life for nothing.
Don’t you always, Stephanie? I wonder how the BFF feels this week.

In the DR, Tiffany bragged about her conquests last night. Apparently they were hot, wet, and down her throat.She was proud of taking advantage of Megan’s absence and Stephanie’s illness.
Just when I was beginning to like Tiffany…

Jeremy came back and tried again to cuddle. She reproached him with all she had sacrificed for him, forgetting that she is a far greater traitor to lurve than he is.
Jeremy could only come back with the weak rejoinder that he is single! But he loves her…
Give me strength!

Gemma and Darren were talking Botox. She said Darren was the British George Clooney. I could see the thoughts in Darren’s mind: Is this a task?

Jeremy finally managed to get into Stephanie’s bed. She giggled and said she can’t wait to shave her – you know, down there. Jeremy was so thrilled. They fell to discussing Jeremy’s possible eviction tonight. He promised he’d be waiting for her outside and she actually managed to squeeze out a tear.
I’d say it was more likely that it is the BBF who will be waiting for him.

John was given a secret mission to fish for compliments. Alas, whenever he said he thought he looked wrecked, the other HMs agreed with him and made all sorts of criticisms of his appearance. This was because BB had instructed them to.

John was also shocked by Tiffany’s confessed love of guns. She has lots – you know, one for her purse etc She was shocked that the UK doesn’t have the same constitution as the USA.

Christopher was evicted. He gave a cheerful interview in which he had not a bad word to say about anyone, in spite of Emma’s probing. He was glad to be out though.

The lifestyle guru, Gillian McKeith, entered the house then, attired in a black shift dress with what looked like green tissue paper flowers stuck all over it. She resembled a black binbag with Kryptonite bursting out of it. I would not put my style in the hands of this flowerpot lady.The house, she declared, has high levels of toxicity in it and she had to choose 4 HMs to have their bodies, minds and souls cleansed and purified: John because he’s in too many arguments; Stephanie because she’s emotionally toxic; Scotty because he parties too hard, swears too much and brags too often about his sex life; and Tiffany because of her flirting everywhere. All four must attend her clinic.
Oh, well, at least Jeremy and Stephanie will be separated for a few hours.


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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 2:11 pm 
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"The lifestyle guru, Gillian McKeith, entered the house then, attired in a black shift dress with what looked like green tissue paper flowers stuck all over it. She resembled a black binbag with Kryptonite bursting out of it. I would not put my style in the hands of this flowerpot lady."

Thanks, Marion, that explains it. And what a brilliant description.

And I had forgotten about Tiff'a thing about guns and her playacting belief that the Engksih constitution is the same as the American one,
I've gone right off our Tiff.

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