INTERACTION

She curls with the curlers and then straightens with the straighteners. Don't ask...

Bricks Without Straw

I feel that I am being adversely affected by BB tonight: all sense, taste, and sensibility are deserting me - I sang along with Take This's performance and laughed my head off at Darryn posing like a sexy rock star in his pink dressing gown. I even laughed at his claim that his full English breakfast had given him an Immaculate Conception because I know the truth is that his plastic abs have moved.

It was just as well there were some laughs because Darryn was as good as it got all evening. Amy moaned a lot as she had been deprived of her curlers and straighteners in her role as groupie. She talked a lot about her curlers - boring. Paddy caused some amusement with his disgusted account of Amy's extensions dropping out all over the house, especially in the kitchen. It must be like finding dead rats in corners.

Fans and groupies were naturally a topic of conversation, given the task. Darryn sprang into Mr Paparazzi mode again by questioning John about inappropriate propositions from jedward groupies. John looked shocked - 'they're all very nice girls,' he said. I swear the light went out in Darryn's eyes - until he considered the possibility that HE might find fans outside the house. John assured him that he would. I just laughed.

Jedward were separated for this task - one a star, the other a groupie. Edward was really quite touching as he described to BB the horrors of being separarated from his brother. 'I'm just a one person without John,' he said. John clearly felt the same as he risked BB's wrath by scaling the security barriers to be with his brother and bring him some breakfast. His punishment was vaguely amusing - sign photographs, which he did, all the time chanting the names of celebs whose autograph he possessed.

The Band task continued (BB really is flogging this one to death). The Groupies had to colour sort the M&Ms to win their way back into the house. 'It's boring,'Amy said and so it was. I was hopng that the rain would wash all the colours off and end the task.

There was a cocktail party to celebrate the Groupie's return and everyone got a little squiffy. Bobby and Lucien threw hundreds of sweets all over the floor - this made a change from mess made by Jedward, a situation clearly resented by one of them who could not resist sneaking into the lounge and adding more sweets to the chaos of colour on the floor.

Paddy waxed sentimental to BB and compared being in there to marrying Roseanne - didn't he say his wife's name was Marie last week?

Lucien and Amy were once more the focus of the Hms attention. While Lucien practised a little lewdness on Kerry in the passing, it was Amy who was on his mind. He's realised she's not interested. In fact, the romance was rather like the the nomination of Darryn - other people put the idea in his mind and he thought it was real. Now he feels Amy has made him look like a muppet - well, he doesn't need Amy for that - and he now realises that she's not his type.
Kerry, ever eager to play bawdy Nurse to Lucien's Romeo, urged him (and Amy) to persevere. Amy seemed tired of the whole thing - half an hour listening to Lucien's drunken maunderings would tire anyone. However, she braved a heart to heart with him and rhe two of them slurred their mutual misunderstandings t one another and agreed everything was fine.
Except it wasn't. Lucien then posted to the DR and put on an unconvincing show of youthful bewilderment at the impossibilities of Amy (he's really out to finish her with the voters, isn't he? And Kerry is joining in by slating Amy for her mixed messages).

All in all, the show had a fin-de-siecle feel about it. They know it's all over bar the shouting and are going through the motions of the BB stereotypes.

So who for the win, Des? I am finding it hard to care as none of this crop is outstanding.
Amy maybe, just because I feel she's been set up with this Lucien business.
Darry has worked the hardest and is the cleverest of the Hms. He has his moments.
The rest are pretty much nonentities, I'd say.

Brillig!

Kerry's slurring got her into trouble before, didn't it? But it seems OK in this context.

I got into a lot of trouble a few months ago when I said I enjoyed Jedward's performance at the Eurovision Song Contest. It was indeed rather clever. And now I'm going to get into trouble again, I fear, because Edward's speech in the DR about loose raw ends when twins are parted and John's separate incantation of famous autographs while he was speed-spidering his own on several flyers clinched the deal for me. I suspect they will win and they deserve to win, too. They are deceptively clever lads who semi-Midwichianly and adeptly typify this time in this part of this century (for good or ill).

The interface of Lucien and Amy again typifies the raw, sometimes inarticulate, emotions of folk beset by our autonomously weirding world to which we (you, Marion, me, and any lurkers) also need to acclimatise (by watching role-playing at several levels of fiction and truth in BB itself?) - but this couple do so only as a contrast and foil to the more adept twins.

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MY WEBSITE: www.nemonymous.com

(sigh) I fear that you are right and that jedward may triumph - the time of the Children of the Damned (or those damned children as I always say) has come, shuffling its way towards, Elstree and a terrible beauty is born.
I so wish there had been SOMEONE in the House very likeable or with a stronger personality because I cannot stand the destructive brats.
But there it is - there wasn't and there ain't and so Jedward may win.
I shall have to go and have a lie down after seeing the mighty BB brought low by what looks like two bad cases of Attention Deficit Disorder

Not Quite The Full Monty (thankfully)

The limelight belonged to Kerry and Jedward until Darryn experienced a burst of spontaneity and stole it.

The show opened with one of those little oddities I so love about BB - Lucien had just woken up and was wearing sunglasses. Who wears sunglasses in bed? Did he have them on all night? Or did he reach for them as soon as the alarm sounded? In either case, why? Paddy shares my bemusment - he was equally bemused by Jedward building a railway track with sweets.

Kerry was at her manipulative best, determined to win voters away from Amy. The girl no sooner showed her face this morning, then a grey woolly Kerry started on about Amy's appalling treatment of angelic Lucien, her bessie mate, and went on and on rehashing till even Amy's bland mask began to crack.

Amy loaded her hair with extra pink jumbo rollers for moral support and defended herself in the DR from the onslaught of criticism. How odd it was to see her defend herself from a fiction created by Lucien and Kerry.

As for Kerry - she shoved an onion under her arm to facilitate tears, and snivelled her way through True Confessions, Humble Repentance, pledges of clean living, missing her kids etc etc
This all sprang full fledged from nowhere. Her magic mascara, as always, did not run while she ran through every emotional mode known to OK magazine.

The pizza task was silly - ingredients on a bungee rope and therefore bound to cause mess. It ended in a food fight of course. Has there ever been such a messy BB?

There was a genuine spontaneous moment when one of the jedwards cut his lip whilst playing at shaving. His brother, quite seriously, his face a mask of horror, looked ready to faint.

Today was Kerry's birthday. She came over all pathetic in the DR - just another day, she said. And talked about the homely little things her kids do for her on her birthday which mean the world. Her pathos was the equal of the pathos in the death bed scene in The Old Curiosity ShopoH, Poor Little Nell!

BB , they would have us believe, had prepared nothing for her birthday and so it was left to Jedward to suggest a striptease and a suprprise party. BB just happened to have the balloons and party food at the ready and Kerry got a wonderful surprise. The strip was puny like the boys themselves - a bit like a Bash Street Kids burlesque- but I suppose it's the thought that counts. And when all is said and done, Kerry dressed like a woolly mammoth in her gray coat and hat can't have been much of an inspiration.

But inspiration she was because Paddy, Bobby, Darryn and Lucien decided to give her the Full Monty and show the boys how. While they rehearsed their routine in the bedroom, Kerry, who had put her grey woolly coat on backwards and pulled her grey woolly bonnet over her eyes to achieve an Irish washer woman look, had a go at elegant little Amy. She's like a terrier with a rat when it comes to scolding Amy. Amy was pushed to the background for the Full Monty show. Did I say washer woman? Kerry was more like a fishwife when she roared at Amy that it was HER birthday and excluded her.

As for the striptease - what can I say? It was hilarious. |Darryn stole the show, of course. Only too aware of his bodily inadequacies, he played it for laughs and a little vulgarity.
Then came the unfortunate spontaneous incident - an unlooked for bulge in his shorts. His face was a picture! His laughter real! It was impossible not to laugh with him.

I suspect you may be right, Des, about jedward winning. Oh, to think of the House being overrun by characters from the Beano. Nonetheless, I shall slip Darryn a vote for being so funny this evening!

I think Darryn is indeed the biggest danger to the twins. A more unlikely contest it is difficult to imagine in the annals of sanity or insanity.

In the old days, BB showed tasks in as near to real-time progression as possible, like sitting in a box for the longest time. That was pure BB. Now tasks are edged and laced with music and hindsight -- and riven with unfairness and slapstick. Even the DR de-briefings of HMs are intercut between our first viewing of the extraordinary renditions of the event itself. This is nothing short of the world gone mad on retrocausality, an eventuality I've been warning about since the publication of Cern Zoo.

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MY WEBSITE: www.nemonymous.com

The editing is done by Dr. Goebbels. All that BB favours will be shown in the best possible light, with evidence cut to shape. All that displeases shall be treated conversely.
I cannot like darryn, but I feel he should win (although he won't) as a sort of protest against jewdwardmania. Sieg heil!

Could Paddy be a dark horse? (9.15 pm)

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MY WEBSITE: www.nemonymous.com

Jedward out as third place! What do I know about modern culture? (10.15 pm)

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MY WEBSITE: www.nemonymous.com

Well, Paddy. Could kick myself for not making that call. In hindsight, so obvious.

Now, Pamela, for tomorrow's BB kick-off. Now is this one really Pamela Anderson!? Or some other Pamela?

(Glad Bobby got a kicking for feeding someone his sweat).

Jedward, I still maintain are the bee's crazy knees.

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MY WEBSITE: www.nemonymous.com

Well, for the sake of the high regard in which I hold Des, I shall try not to gloat over jedward only taking THIRD place. I confess to a malicious glee that the Damned Children seemed so sure that they had won and then didn't. I think Darryn should have been more highly placed as he and Paddy together were a sharp and refreshing tang compared to the sugary slop we got from Kerry, Lucien, and Amy, the cold detachment evinced by the twins, and Bobby's resentful malice (I enjoyed his kicking too!)
Paddy is a satisfying winner - a genuine, humble man. We should have predicted this win but the cameras weren't much on him this week. But on past track record, the Great British Public does favour the non-egotistical genuine type -- think of Brian Dowling himself, Chantelle, Rachel and so on. Paddy's tears at being reunited with his Woman was genuinely moving. Well done, Paddy!

And this Pamela who will be there tomorrow - that is Pamela Anderson this time? I'm not wrong again, am I? Whatever, she looks like a bit of a poser!

The final word must go to Brian's suit. Brian is a handsome man - it surely shouldn't be too hard to make him presentable! That suit looked as if it was made from that plastic they made sofas out of in the sixties - the stuff that stuck to the back of your legs and left red marks when you unpeeled yourself from it. Come on CH5, give a pleasant and attrractive man something decent to wear!

I don't mind being proved wrong, Marion. Part of life's lessons is to be justifiably criticised on the sound eventuality of facts open for all to see. Perhaps Jedward will push forward with a greater Beano comicfest of clownship by taking this one step back along with the friends of Snooty. I am pleased their hair-towers vigorously bounced back when pushed underhand. I shall bounce back, too...

Kerry Katona had a Road to Damascus, too, as she redrew her life's path to as well as from her retrocausally converging destiny of CBB 2011. The nursing of career as well as motherhood. As dully glinting off Brian's synthetic suit.

Onward and upward, with the metaphorical aid, not of giant Essex curlers, but of my own faith-sprung tower.

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MY WEBSITE: www.nemonymous.com

Not long to the launch - send me a Ziggy and a Rex and an Aisleyne,an Emma, a Michelle, an Ahmed, a Victor or a Jason or both ...even a Nicky at a push...

And a Noirin.

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MY WEBSITE: www.nemonymous.com

A very stylish and touching 30 minutes about Paddy. Well done, Channel 5.
(I can't believe I didn't see him winning before he did).

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MY WEBSITE: www.nemonymous.com