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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2016 6:55 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:06 pm
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Location: Clacton-on-Sea
I am afraid I probably won't be able to follow Big Brother this Summer, for various reasons.
Hope Marion and anyone else will enjoy it, and if you post here at all, Marion, I shall be keeping a close eye.


 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2016 11:38 pm 
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Posts: 3347
des2 wrote:
I am afraid I probably won't be able to follow Big Brother this Summer, for various reasons.
Hope Marion and anyone else will enjoy it, and if you post here at all, Marion, I shall be keeping a close eye.

But of course - BB watches over all!

If You Play The Game of Thrones, You Win Or You Die

A hint of things to come was in the DR chair which had more than a passing resemblance to the Iron Throne. But the hint and the build up turned out to be a bit of a damp squib for reasons which will be explained later. Enter the HMs and this year the men were more interesting than the women who as usual specialised in surgical enhancements, foul language and shrieking while they jumped up and down.

First to enter the house was Marco, tattooed, foul mouthed and aggressive. Pretty standard issue for BB.

Then came the pretty twins, Emma and Victoria. They are fond of aliens and animals and to prove it, wore leopard print trimmed with pink nylon lace and shiny pink love hearts. They gabble and giggle and shriek over one another and what is more, they clash with the fluorescent furniture – either they or the sofas will have to go/

Andy was an ex journalist and news presenter for the BBC, sacked for publicly criticising the Sportsman of the year for homophobic and misogynistic views.
He has fallen to the depths of BB, hoping to find someone to have intelligent conversations with. I must introduce him to the twins.

Laura is a fun loving northerner who was nearly wearing a dress. She is constantly amazed at people who wait a few weeks before having sex – why wait when you can have any man in the house?
The crowd did not take to her.

Alex, the male model with nice eyes, loves himself and smoulders endlessly and shirtless to the cameras.

Welsh Lateshya has a sheep tattooed on her rear end. There was room for a whole flock on there due to surgical enhancement. Her bust was enhanced too. The overall effect of all that projecting padding was a resemblance to the Ypres Salient. Does she know she can be attacked by an invading army on three sides simultaneously? She also had a jaw like a boxer’s and shoulders like a line backer (not due to surgical enhancement). A perfect caricature.

Next up was Evelyn from down under who declares herself to be ambitious reckless and demanding and someone who always gets her own way. She thinks she’s F……awesome/
Oh well, at least she’s pretty in a natural kind of way..

Sam wore a dapper suit, claiming he’s a man about town (about Blackpool town that is). In spite of his Bart Simpson hairdo, he claims that both straight men and women come on to him. He’s as vain and silly as the girls.

Georgina lived in New York for some time but came home because she missed her horses and polo. She didn’t make any threats or swear once or promise orgies – but spoiled it all by apologising for being a nice speaker and going to a good school. She has a very natural beauty – Lateshya and Laura have competition.

Jason is an older man, a property developer and a stunt double in Bond films. He made the models and men about town look like wimpy kids.

Jackson was a skinny young man is a rose pink smoking jacket. He was so laidback he was practically comatose. He has a deadpan self deprecating humour that I rather liked. He claims to be an anti man.

Chelsea is an entrepreneur with many businesses and projects. I’m not sure I believe in Chelsea – he lisps ferociously and looks as if he’s painted his hair on his head.

All in all, the best of the girls were the twins and Georgina. Among the boys, the leaders were Jason and Andy and Jackson.
Something that happens every year was more noticeable tonight - while the girls shrieked and competed fr attention, the boys quietly networked among themselves. They will work as a team until the end is in sight. the girls will turn on one another from the beginning.

Tonight’s twist fell flat. There are two houses this year, one with HMs and one with wannabe HMs. To win a place in the real house, six persons are charged with choosing HMs to target with difficulties to induce paranoia and nervous breakdown. One or two of the six have ex partners in the house so conflict is built in.
There was a tremendous build up to this scenario but BB didn’t quite pull it off. They didn’t know who they were targeting tonight, having only nameless faceless dolls to choose from. Laura’s doll was chosen and she is now nominated. |She had to choose another HM to join her and picked Lateshya of the mighty boson and rear.
Big so what.
Still, the idea has potential and it’s early days yet.

Strangely, I felt a sudden rush of affection for the motley crew, all decked out in attention grabbing outfits, all adopting personae they think will elp tem win but ill in fact be stripped away over the next couple of weeks.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:23 pm 
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Getting To Know You

It was a snippet evening, full of cameras switching back and forth from person to person, showing Marco’s tattoos here, and Lateshya’s bum there, and |Charlie’s pain filled eyes, and Lateshya’s boobs, and Ryan’s vomit, and Lateshya’s bum again, and the twins bouncing up and down with joy at sight of a pear…you get the idea. But we did get to know a little bit about the Other House (hereinafter known as the OH) and its inmates.
Grimfaced Andrew is a kick boxing champion and a chess wizard. Hughie is a bisexual Irish traveller – bet that goes down well with the community. Jane runs a surveillance company which catches out cheats. Natalie is a dominatrix. Ryan is from Blackpool and wants to go home. Charlie is a lap dancer which she defends to the end as her career.

Laura’s nomination of Lateshya was a topic for discussion. Andy advised Lateshya not to take it personally, and so did Laura herself, but Lateshya vented her wrath in the DR. Foul mouthed and beside herself she was in there, convinced it was Laura’s jealousy which prompted the nomination.
My dear girl, no one could be jealous of your figure which has been deformed by surgeons.

HMs fell to discussing their relationship status. Marco is engaged but also free – his girl friend won’t mind if he gets up to naughtiness. He’s already cosying up to Evelyn. Jackson and Jason commiserated with each other about recent breakups. Andy has already told us that he is in a relationship. Sam and Jackson were getting on very well in the bedroom until Laura joined them – wastingyour time there, lov.

Getting attention is Marco’s game. He pole danced in the garden but was outdone by Lateshya who pole danced too while struggling to keep her boobs in place; in response, he removed his shirt at every opportunity to show his copious tattoos(but they were nothing compared to Lateshya’s frontage) and finally plunged into the pool fully dressed. Jason rather dampened that trick by pointing out he’d just ruined his trainers. It was quite crushing.

Andy asked Laura how her bust stayed in place (it is only restrained by tiny wisps of cloth) but she did not reveal the secret. A pity – the miracle of that engineering feat is on a par with the building of the pyramids and the Colossus of Rhodes.

Jackson, in the DR, shyly confessed an attraction to Georgina who he ruefully admits is way out of his league. He did his best to look coy and cute which he is too old for really, but this is a game plan which has worked in earlier series.

Meanwhile, in the OH, revenge has been promised to Charlie, on Jason, who, it transpires, is Charlie’s ex. He said some very unpleasant things about her on his VT which made Charlie cry and swear a lot when she heard them. Ryan was instantly supportive and I reckon Jason will be their next target.

There is some danger that the Other HMs will forget their assigned task of causing mayhem for the HMs in the House, Natalie has already taken offence at Andrew’s way of looking at her which she thinks is two faced – a veritable Janus is Andrew according to her. Andrew denied the charge but looked at her with such contempt that I can see what she’s getting at.

In the DR, Andrew was coldly contemptuous of everyone in fact. His companions are all fools who talk too much and don’t listen and learn the way he does. He seems to think he can play them like a game of chess.
Natalie is already on to you, son.

Ryan is greedy for drink and wanted Hughie’s as well as his own. He didn’t get t which was just as well really because e can’t hold his drink. He vomited all over the garden and them wept apologies. I cannot be bothered with this – he’ll have to go!

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2016 11:15 pm 
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Confusion Reigns

A labyrinthine plot was revealed but instead of intriguing, it merely confused. The situation is as follows – the nominated HMs will not in fact be up for eviction although they will believe they are. The OH will select two of the six nominees for this apparent eviction but in reality they will join the Others in the OH. At the same time, the public will vote for two of the OH HM to go into the Big House on a secret mission to cause more mayhem.
So, in the end, Alex and Jackson went into the OH and Ryan and Andrew came out.
Is everyone following this? I hope so because I cannot explain it any better and am not sure that this convoluted rigmarole is worth explaining. Oh for the days when they just stocked the house with real people and let then interact!

But we do get some interaction Sam, for example, simpering over the beautiful Aex, is quite intimidated by his perfect physique. I don’t expect he sees many of those in Blackpool

In the DR, Laura seems to have decided that Marco is not such a sex pest as he seemed yesterday. Perhaps her change of heart was due to Marco’s revelation that he had spent a quarter of a million quid on booze and prostitutes on holiday. Anyway, Laura says there is definitely chemistry between them but she won’t go there because he’s engaged. But she will, we all know that she will.
She was draped over him again in no time and then romped so lasciviously on the sofa and on the floor that the other HMs evacuated to the garden and viewed the proceedings through the window. It was all so tacky!

Of course everyone is creating their own little dramas. Victoria was in tears, overcome by the pressures of the house. But I don’t think that she can compete with Laura sprawling among the Marco tattoos.

Jackson tried his humble suitor technique on Georgina,wondering pitifully if she would ever have approached him on the outside. Wistfully he met her eye, crushingly she replied ‘No.’
I did laugh.

Jackson and Chelsea became the latest nominees. Jackson could barely conceal his disappointment and paranoid wondering about who in the house targeted him. Chelsea was more phlegmatic. He seems to annoy Lateshya as she shifted her might bosom and opined that he would be evicted as no one like a show off about money.

Dramas were manufactured in the OH also. The big one tonight was a screeching row between Natalie and Jayne with Ryan in attendance. Andrew, being of mixed race, suffered for it in Germany. Jayne went too far in decrying racism but also those
who see it when it isn’t there, for example when her old mother was written off as a racist for complaining about her black carer. Jayne then decided to compensate for that remark by overpraising the current black carer whereupon Natalie blew a gasket. She was nuclear in her wrath and said she wasn’t an alien. (?) Jayne took exception and battle commenced. It was a silly row and it was plain Natalie had deliberately manufactured, or at least blew it out of all proportion. I think she expected submission from Jayne (it’s what she usually gets from her clients) but Jayne ranted equally ferociously.
Twenty minutes later she was still ranting. Jayne did try to make it up later but was nastily rebuffed. Natalie has chips on both shoulders or else was trying to intimidate with threats of racism. She’s going to be fun. Ryan came in on Jayne’s side and was told firmly where to get off but he merely told Natalie to get back to her whips.

When Ryan and Alex were told that they weren’t being evicted and had the whole twisted plot revealed to them, it was clear that Ryan hadn’t got the drift of it. He transferred to the main house, supposedly a new HM, but he’s going to forget that he’s not supposed to know Alex or that he hasn’t heard what Jason has said about him or that he’s on a secret mission.
I hope it all blows up in BB’s face.

PS I keep forgetting to say that the wildlife is back again this year.
There's a dog wtha red collar, a life sized zebra in the main house, and a blue zebra in te OHThere is also a tap shaped like a swan's neck and the water comes out of his beak. I'd love to see last year's geese back again!

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sat Jun 11, 2016 11:35 pm 
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Fawlty Towers

BB’s rigmarole is all going wrong and the show is so much better for it; it is even comic, if unintentionally.


First we had some pre-eviction drama. Victoria wants to leave. Seriously. She cannot stand being in a house where meat and fish are being cooked – I mean, she says the fridge is full of corpses! I thought she meant it and this was confirmed later when she and Emma made a dash for it, out through the camera runs, past burly security guards, and out into her world of alfalfa seeds and wilted greenery. Bye, girls, we’ll hardly notice you’re gone because we hardly knew you were there.

In the OH, Ryan and Hughie screamed abuse at one another as they quarrelled over Ryan’s dramatics.You’re no mean hand yourself, Hughie.

In the main house, Laura and Marco fell to discussing their relashunship. My heart sank. As regular readers will know, I detest these dissections of faux romances. Since there is only so much to be said, it always boils down to fake dilemmas and will/they won’t they for the whole summer, and all of it lingeringly filmed by BB to the point when there seems to be no one else on the show.. Sure enough, after rolling about on the floor with Ryan earlier, Laura suddenly suffered an attack of conscience over Ryan’s fiancee’s plight. He insisted that they have an open relationship, Laura wasn’t sure if he could be trusted.
Yaddah Yaddah.
At any rate, for the next five minutes it’s all off again.

In the OH, Alex and Jackson arrived post eviction. Charlie pounced, eager to explain that |Jason had been telling lies about her. The two men looked bewildered.
Once Ryan and Andrew were selected to go into the main house, Ryan’s lip curled as he swore revenge on Jason. Andrew’s expression didn’t change (it never does) as he promised Machiavellian mayhem as he worked his way to the top to make himself King next door.

Of course it didn’t work out like that. Ryan and Sam got into a rather silly bitching fest (Ryan said Sam couldn’t model balaclavas) while Andrew instantly made enemies for life by saying that most of the HMs were backbiting snakes. Subtle as Machiavelli? I think not.
Marco intervened in the Ryan/Sam spat with lots of shouting and swearing and finally removed him to the DR to calm down. Chelsea then had a go at Ryan and talked big talk about nobody getting to talk to one of his own in his house. He was sent to the kitchen to cool off.
Andy did his level best to broker a peace but they were all too angry at being called snakes. Andrew explained that he knew they were snakes from watching them – and thus gave away the secret mission and the existence of another house.
And I thought it would be Ryan who would give it all away!

In the DR, Georgina wept prettily into a little handkerchief and mourned the new arrivals who had knocked the energy of the house of kilter with their mean natures.

Things were no better in the OH. Natalie erupted into another foul tempered rant – I’m not entirely sure why – but this time it was Hughie who was her target. T hardly matters why – her language and demeanour were unforgiveable.

Marco meanwhile had decided to leave the house because he’s decided that BB is twisting whatever he and Laura do to make them look bad. And after all, they’re not doing anything wrong. Chelsea spent ages trying to dissuade him but in the end, decided the two of them should shoot off to Miami So they too left the house. They returned, however, in the middle of the night and Marco whispered to one of the other HMs that he had seen Alex, happy in another house. So the secret is well and truly out.

In the DR, Andrew, unaware that the game is up, claimed that he had completed his mission by spreading paranoia and now wanted to enjoy getting to know his fellow HMs.
He’ll be lucky if BB doesn’t evict them all and start again from scratch.
Oh, what is BB to do – his plans are all in ruins, ridiculously exposed in a very short time. The only thing that will save the show is to give up the Plan and put all the HMs in one house together.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2016 10:45 pm 
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Not Holding Back

Wonderful! The Free of Personality twin, Emma, has returned to the house, all smiles and giggles and big hugs for the HMs. She blames her escape on the aggression caused by the new arrivals – but she’s better now. Victoria who fears the corpses in the fridge will not be coming back.

BB has solved the problem of the secret of the OH becoming known. He announced that just because the HMs knew about A house, doesn’t mean that hey have a clue what’s going on. So there. It was a pity that the denizens of the OH sent some time shouting through the walls of the house at the HMs over there. Explain that one, BB!

In the DR, Andrew repeats that he has done enough stirring up of paranoia and that this was a Good Thing because it let the HMs know there is danger around them. BB insists he cross to the Other House and consult with them about who is to be targeted next. This project did not go well.

OH HMs had been viewing the eviction drama and Andrew’s entrance to the main house. They all fell out because they couldn’t hear what was going on for loud talking. Natalie exploded (again) and shouted at Jayne who went off in a huff. Hughie took Jayne’s side and was roundly cursed and abused by Natalie. Alex copped it from Hughie for some comment he’d made. He shouted so loudly that next door heard him.

Later on, he exploded again at Natalie. Never a man for holding back, he used the vilest language to berate her. In the end, BB intervened and sent him to the DR. Natalie was at her most unpleasant, telling him to talk to the hand etc In the DR, Hughie insisted he had been nice to these people and kept on ranting and raving. Natalie, on the other hand, switched off her temper as soon as he was gone. She even made up with Jayne affectionately. Hmm
I think she throws tantrums for effect but that Hughie is genuinely unstable.

Andrew’s return happened in this white hot crucible of rage. They told Andrew they were not happy about the way he treated the HMs (he snakes remark), that he had been unnecessarily aggressive and tactless, even if he was on a mission. They
were also unhappy about voting to target someone for eviction.
Ah, me – it is never easy being a second rate Machiavelli! In the end, they voted to target Laura.

Hms were no happier in the other house. Andy complained in the DR that he hated te conversation in the house - he doesn’t care how many people they’ve slept with, how many drugs they consume, how much fake tan they apply. The only one he had had intelligent conversation with is Georgina. Then he burst into tears, overcome by vacuousness.

Ryan too burst into tears – overcome by the kindness of the others who had forgiven him his aggressive entrance last night.

The black marks of the evening, however, go to Marco and Laura. Marco is a six year old in a man’s body. He was messing around with fixtures and fittings and managed to break a hanging microphone. BB sent Georgina to tell him to stop it and he turned nasty on her. Easy going, laidback Marco REALLY doesn’t like being challenged. Is he only nice when he’s above criticism? Georgina says that since Alex and Jackson left, he’s got out of hand.
He certainly has. In another romp with Laura, he begged to be whipped and strangled. She obliged while he muttered obscene remarks at her and suckled greedily. He did not hold back.
All I could think of was how fragile the hyoid bone is, how easily Laura could have killed him by accident.
BB should have put a stop to that. I suppose they were too entranced at the thought of the first BB porn movie. The scene was a new low for the show. Both Marco and Laura have to go. A career in Nuts awaits them.

While this was going on, Jason was comforting an upset Georgina. Marco has no respect, he said. He never said a truer word.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2016 10:26 pm 
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It’s A Bird, It’s a Plane, No, Its Superandrew

This series is wearing thin already. Laura and Marco started romping again first thing in the morning – I don’t think I can stand a summer of that pair.

Andrew, very much in command, tells Ryan what their task is – bringing Laura down. Ryan mystified about how that can be done. Andrew controls his impatience.

In the OH, Natalie and Jackson were having a laugh at Andrew’s arrogance. Jackson wants to hum the theme to Mission Impossible when he’s around.

In the main house, the HMs are having a meeting chaired by Andy to air grievances. He reports a cigarette squirrel – that is, someone who pinches cigarettes. No one owns up but I suspect Marco.

Georgina also aired a grievance – cushions and pillows are being used on the floor She doesn’t care to have dirty footprints on them. No one is much interested. Things were more exciting in the OH – they were playing at charades and Alex mimed The Stripper and peeled off all his clothes while grinning cheekily over his shoulder.
Are they all aiming to be a centrefold for Nuts?

In the DR, Emma explains that the house is less vibrant now that Victoria has gone. Soaring free spirit and all that. She doesn’t care for the way Georgina moans about everything, dispelling Emma’s efforts to embrace the day as soon as she wakes up/

I can’t stand people who wake up cheerful. I was once trapped in a tent with a girl who woke up all the Girl Guides by singing ‘Ode To Joy’. We used to throw hiking boots at her but nothing dampened her spirits. I suspect Emma is one of her kind.

In the DR, Georgina had much to say about juvenile, attention seeking Marco. She thinks he’s very draining – I think she’s right.

Later in the DR, Ryan was given a secret mission: to get at least half of the HMs to drop out of an endurance task. He hadn’t a clue how to set about it and earned the wrath of the OH. They were to choose which HMs were to be targeted with having revolting stuff like fish heads and rancid cream etc poured over their heads. They of course aimed at Laura to make her miserable and react badly only she didn’t. They also targeted Ryan as a punishment for doing nothing to complete his mission which would mean the main house got the prize party and not them. They, especially Alex and Jackson, suspect Ryan of being a double agent trying to win the party for himself.

Lateshya was all over Chelsea, helping him to get ready for the party, fawning on him, smirking at his…ah, there’s nothing like the smell of money! And he did promise her some treats when the series is over.

In the DR, Laura, smiling like the Cheshire cat, swore there was nothing between her and Marco except a little comfort kissing.
Didn’t she watch the show last night?

Georgina gossiped idly about someone she knows but was interrupted by Emma who despises idle chat and depressing negative energy. Georgina smacked her down – negative energy talk does her head in apparently.
Good for Georgina. Emma tried to make something of this, making herself out to be the aforementioned free soaring spirit but ended up looking foolish.

In the main house, the party was soon underway. Marco flashed his tattoos and builder’s bum while he leapt about like a dervish and playfully threw Laura on the sofa (again). HMs decided to play truth or dare in the pool – soon girls’ tops were off and boobs were bouncing free and girls were dared to kiss girls or Andrew – Andrew – yeuch! And Marco leered over all.

In the DR, Ryan was affronted that he had lost the task – he wants to go home. He doesn’t like being in the main house – he really must get back to the OH.
BB was very patient.

Andrew also visited the DR – he speaks like a DC comics superhero: my unrivalled perspicacity and indefatigability will enable me to win = he is tedious.
After the pool party, talk tuned to swinging which Jason doesn’t understand. He wouldn’t share his wife – in the OH Charle just about disappeared in a blue light because of course he got up to naughties with her while married.

Marco fell to wondering if he had a personality disorder. Andrew nodded sagely.

In the meantime, Laura and Evelyn danced practically naked in the house,
A Bacchanalian scene.

There must be more to these people than this.


 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 11:33 pm 
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Pole Dancing

He shopping task took place tonight – paranormal events occurred beginning with a wake up call from sinister hooded monks. Ryan, Lateshya and Sam had to go to Big Brother’s attic and find some keys. Ryan was charged with making them fail the task by urging them to press the panic button. It was a very atmospheric attic, stuffed with leftover stage props from the ‘Lady In Black’ – a haunted pram, a murdered ghost in a rocking chair, an eerie doll’s house… From first sight of the place, Lateshya was terrified and screamed endlessly. She even fell to the floor in a screaming fit. Hopefully, Ryan kept urging her to press the panic button to release them all but hysterical Lateshya bravely soldiered on and they won a luxury hamper for the house.
It’s good to have a real task to report.

The second part of the task was less entertaining – wonderful creepy sets for a ouija board setting, but spoiled by the personality questionnaire the board gave the answers to – who is the most boring, the most two faced, the least hygienic etc etc.

The third part of the task fell even flatter – the OH had to choose the biggest horror in the main house. I was certain they would pick Marco but no, Chelsea was the chosen one, largely because of things Jayne had said about him. The best reason they could come up with was his horrible haircut. Well, I’ll grant them that…
So Chelsea was transferred to the OH and lost his HM status.
I thought the aim was to get HMs from the OH to win their way into the main house. But as Chelsea remarked, ‘I don’t understand the game any more.’
I don’t think BB does either. There was a strange little scene where Marco was invited to the DR and urged to describe his feelings about Chelsea’s departure. I have no idea what that was for.

On the more every day side of house life, Laura was boring on about her relashunship with Marco. She repeated what she’s said several times before, that she regrets what she’s done, that she regrets his fiancee’s suffering, that she knows that the whole show will be focused on them as a couple, that she would F*** him on the outside but not in the house . So it’s all off again.
Subtle Andy and Lateshya suggested she would incur the wrath of female viewers if she carried on as before. That seemed to have an effect. Let’s hope so.

Lateshya was less subtle in the DR. She clearly doesn’t believe it’s all off. The drink brings out Laura’s inner whore, she said.
That made me laugh.
She also had a less amusing go at Georgina – she called her a moany b****.

Now Georgina has plenty to moan about. She was so disgusted by the state of the bathroom that she got busy with the bleach and cleaned it top to bottom. She was particularly aggravated by diarrhoetic voidings in the toilet. Lateshya seems to ascribe Georgina’s fussiness to her coming from money. Interesting.

BB made an announcement that Andrew had been removed from the house over events outside the house. They didn’t specify what kind of event but The Sun apparently has a video of him in a nasty S&M tape. Time will tell if that is true. But if it is true, it seems hypocritical that they would allow the choking sex session Laura and Marco had to be broadcast.

\Lateshya and Georgina are not the only fed up HMs. Laura continued to bang on about her and Marco. HMs looked bored unsurprisingly. Sam, Lateshya and Ryan and Andy settled down for a gossip about the pair. Marco is too much, they ended up saying – always interrupting to talk about himself, always looking for attention (he was pole dancing again tonight), always the Big I Am. On cue, Marco appeared and interrupted them. He flicked a lighted cigarette which landed on Sam’s hand (accidentally?)and told Sam he shouldn’t sit with his hand in the ashtray, grinning and giggling like Norman Bates on speed. The HMs all got up and left except for Andy. The look on his face was priceless as Marco grimaced and sniggered in what he thinks is a winning way. I can see nominations coming Marco’s way.

The ouija board session had ended up with Georgina being classed as the most 2 faced HM. She was very hurt by this and quite downcast. Laura told her she was being negative by taking it personally. Later she went in the toilet with Sam (it’s safe to do so now that it’s clean) and confided her distress. His only comfort was that only 4 out of 7 had voted her two faced.

Andy also was condemned by the Ouija board – the most boring HM. In the DR he put up a sturdy defence against this charge. Being loud and bragging and taking drugs doesn’t make you interesting, he said. He thinks the HMs are trying too hard to be friends with everyone. And so are putting up with things they wouldn’t usually.

This series is so awful, so shambolic in his construction, that it’s actually fascinating. What is the other house for? They have nothing to do all day but sit. They don’t even have a change of clothes. They have no real function. Lifers in prison get a better time of it.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 11:12 pm 
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I am having a nervous breakdown over what faces us over the summer. There is a possibility that there will be five relashunhips running simultaneously, covering every type of relashunship and tragic obstacle, simultaneously. There is Laura/Marco, Chelsea/Jayne, Jackson/Georgins, Charlie/Jason, Sam/Ryan and Emma loving the summer breezes and hugging them (really!)
Sorry – that makes six.

Relashunship Reports

Laura and Marco are finished although she spent most of the show talking about her dilemma re is fiancée. What was awful was that gradually the other HMs gatheed round to listen and give advice. Why are they doing this? She’s a boring hard fced little piece with a not very interesting story to tell.
She admits to having has sex with Marco and that he instantly regretted it because of his fiancée and now he hardly speaks to her.
Well, whatddya know!

Marco has a weak point – someone asked him about his father, the celebrity chef, and he swore for an answer. He also hurt himself swinging round the pole – loved it.

Jason talked a good deal about Charlie. She talked about him. Cue a change of house for one of them.

Chelsea the braggart is strangely subdued in Jayne’s presence. She says he owed her an apology for saying he was single when he wasn’t. Eventually he says the other woman lives in Sweden now although later in the |DR he says he will marry her.
It’s like something in a Mills & Boon editor’s slush pile.

Marco told Emma she has beautiful eyes and flirted heavily. She seemed delighted, God knows why, and the two ended up romping on the bed under Laura’s watchful eye.
At least, I think it was Emma on the bed but it might have been Evelyn. Women do seem a bit interchangeable to Marco.

Jackson’s little face lit up when Chelsea told him that Georgina keeps talking about him and absolutely loves him. I distinctly recall that she was underwhelmed by him when he was in he house. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I suppose, in all the best romances.

Now that Jayne has met up with Chelsea again, she has realised that she was only invited on the show to discomfit him. She’s a nobody in her own right, only second best. She wept copiously and wants to walk out.

Chelsea also wants to walk because he feels second best. Did he mean to Marco? Or was he referring to the fact that he was now in the OH? Then he said he would leave if he couldn’t have a drink. He didn’t get one but stayed anyway.

Make up your mind.

The last part of the shopping task fell flat as a pancake. I’ll spare you the details – it was another of those cringy question and answer scenarios when they embarrass the the other HMs. One interesting thing was that both Georgina and Andy were scathing about Marco – it didn’t seem to bother him.

What a lot of twaddle.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:33 pm 
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Sweet Stench Of Hypocrisy

Jayne is still banging on about Chelsea in spite of having made it up with him – his dishonesty. His disrespect. His existence. Why, I don’t know – she agrees with him that they never had a relationship and that his GF lived in Sweden anyway…
I don’t know how BB can listen to that tinny, scratchy little voice or the way she says ‘myself’ instead of ‘me’.

But then the truth has a habit of coming out. Chelsea told the boys that she had broken up JohnTerry’s marriage and then sold her story to the Sun. Ditto a kiss and tell on Sven Goram Eriksson. And then she’d tried it on with Chelsea but he sent her packing. Oh, my – the woman demonstrated hypocrisy at its finest. And bloated ego. And rampant narcissisim. Almost as repellent as her whiny voice.

HMs entertained themselves by telling ghost stories. Sam’s story was about a clock that stopped and a washing machine that started by itself. (I was frozen with fear). Andy tried to discuss rational explanations for these phenomena and Sam took umbrage, thinking that Andy was calling him and his mother liars. He flounced off in a huff.
Later, he sought out Sam and explained himself, making a very gracious apology. He hadn’t meant to call him a liar, hadn’t meant to patronise…
Sam accepted the apology as graciously as it was given. Orso it seemed.

When it came time to nominate, Andy was his first choice, the reason being the way he talked down to Sam…oh, Sam!
Nominations were interesting in that for the most part the same reasons were given, especially for Georgina’s – negative, moany person. The source of this was Emma who was the first to declare it. Ms Breeze Hugger has a lot to answer for. The prize for most cogent comment goes to Laura, who complained of Georgina’s ‘resting bitch face’
Hm Georgina is beautiful and comes across as decent, always a reproach to someone like Laura.
Marco picked up some nominations for his erratic behaviour and his habit of turning every conversation round to be about himself. BB had to exercise a little discipline where Marco was concerned. When nominating, he refused to clarify his reasons and swore at BB. Apparently it should have been enough that he named someone. BB sternly warned him not to talk to BB like that and Marco became as meek as a lamb. There’s something very unstable about Marco.

In the end, Emma, Marco, Andy and Georgina are up for eviction tomorrow. I hope Marco goes; failing him, Emma.

Ryan has been sent back to the OH, having failed in his mission to get Laura nominated. My head spins with the back-and –forths. Since the OH can’t nominate or be nominated, we are faced with the prospect of the main house emptying and the OH filling up. It makes no sense Plus, the inmates of the OH are being driven crazy with so many of them cooped up in a tiny house with nothing to do. Jayne went into a melt down about the situation and shrieked and shrilled round the OH and in the DR, squeaking that she wanted to go home. BB should have shown her the door, She is awful.
In the main house, Georgina baked the HMs a cake but came n for much mockery when she burnt it, Marco was subtly unkind, looming over her; Laura and Emma were unsubtly bitchy about her silly efforts. This from Laura and Emma who stripped off for the cameras. Theirs is a funny old world.

Laura and Marco , despite having decided that it was all off between them, had a romp in the hot tub together. I think they had sex in the pool or they may have been pretending – I didn’t notice as I was too fascinated by Marco’s tattooed legs. Then I realised that they weren’t his legs, they were Laura’s, not tattooed but clad in skin tight patterned lycra. Who wears something like that in the pool? In the bathroom afterwards, they both stripped off to putthmselves on display. The trouble with Laura and Marco is that they don't know what else to do.

Bad news – I have a new relationship to add to the list – Hughie and Ryan. They cuddled on the sofa and then went horizontal to get steamy. I’m going to need an index for all these relationships!

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:20 am 
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Love Is In The Air…Or Maybe It Isn’t

Hughie and Ryan embraced and fought in play. Ryan also declared his love for Hughie in play. Or so he said later. He leapt on Hughie, saying he wanted to tear his clothes off, to be more that just friends. He declared that he had slept with a Premier League footballer but that he hadn’t sold his story to the newspapers. This send up of the girls, Jayne in particular, did not amuse Hughie. In fact he was rather bamboozled, even alarmed by True Confessions and Ryan’s ardour. Ryan stormed off in a huff at Hughie’s strange reaction. Ryan insisted he had been led on. Later, they got into bed together and Hughie kept putting a pillow on Ryan’s face till Ryan yelped he suffered from claustrophobia. Hughie was tempted, I could tell, but he desisted from asphyxiating Ryan and they have decided to be just god friends.
I don’t know whether to remove them from the love bird index or not. But I’ll leave them on for now. Their bizarreness is worthy of note.

In the DR, a smug Emma recounted that whereas she had taken her nomination on the chin, Georgina was upset by hers. Perhaps fearful that her past unpleasantness to Georgina would count against her in the eviction vote, she persuaded Marco that they should reconcile with her. Georgina was happy to be friends with Emma but no way would she pal up with Marco who drains her, even repels her.
I rather liked her attitude – how many fake reconciliations have we seen over the years? How many HMs would have the guts not to accept the olive branch? Respect, Georgina.
Marco told Emma to ignore her. Mistake, Marco. Heedless, he shot off to the hot tub for a romp with Evelyn, much to Laura’s chagrin.

In the OH, Natalie expressed her loathing of all the OHHMs except for Chelsea and Ryan. She especially loathes Hughie. This could get awkward if the Hughie\Ryan affair gets past the asphyxiation stage.

By way of casual conversation, Marco flirted with Emma, wanting to know when she had her breasts enhanced. It was a reward for passing her GCSEs apparently. Then he leered and wanted to know if her Dad had asked to see them.
Yeuch! He really is depraved!

On the subject of breasts, both Laura and Emma reckoned that being in the house had made them grow.
I never knew that BB laid on plastic surgeons.

Chelsea was incredulous when Natalie told him that Jayne ran a honey trap agency to catch out cheating spouses (she has much experience of cheating spouses)and she was claiming that he had apologised to her.
Trouble is brewing.

Natalie wasn’t the only HM tonight to put poison in someone’s ear. Andy had a go at manipulating Marco, pretending care and concern at the likely reaction on twitter to his cheating on his fiancée. And what about Laura? Perhaps he should leave the girls alone…Later on, he returned to the subject, gravely giving good advice about his fiancée. Lateshya was more blunt, demanding to know about his fiancée and exposing him as a liar who claimed to have got a free pass on his behaviour in the house, not only from his girl friend but from her parents. The more she questioned, the more he squirmed; the more he squirmed the more ludicrous his lies became – the best one was that he had an open relationship but was only allowed to go with girls his fiancée approved of!

Andy was also involved in a spat with Georgina. Her hoodie, left on a sun lounger by the pool, had ended up on the floor and got soaking wet. She quizzed HMs about who could have done such a thing and ended up accusing Andy which he denied. On and on she went about it, for over an hour to whoever would listen, until finally Lateshya told her off: it was only a wet hoodie. ‘But it’s my hoodie,’ Georgina wailed. ‘I look after my things!’
In the DR, she wept with frustration at Andy’s argumentativeness.

Andy was quick to pour more poison in the ears of Jason and others about how Georgina made a lot of fuss about little things Then he went off to Georgina to assure her that he never touched her hoodie but really to undermine her with gentle reproaches about her overreaction to things. She said she was sorry.They hugged and made up. A very satisfying victory for Andy.

Laura regaled the other girls with her account (again) of having sex with Marco and of his impressive dimensions.
She and Marco are two of a kind – a fascination with body parts is all there is to them.

In the DR, Jackson was despondent about being in a different house from his true love Georgina who might get evicted that night. BB was his only chance of getting anywhere with her – someone like him would never meet up with someone like her outside the house.

BB finally revealed to the main house who the Others were. One by one, on film, they removed their masks. Charlie declared to Jason that she still loved him and would take him back. His expression was priceless and not happy. After all, it took him five months to be rid of her.
BB’s other surprise was that the contestants of both houses would engage in a battle for control of the house over the weekend and on Monday, would all be HMs in one house.

And the last and best announcement was that Marco was to be evicted. Joy of joys! The little sleaze departed with his ego bashed in, so sure was he that everyone would love him.
Byeee Marco! Maybe we will get to see more of the other HMs when you’re not there to steal the limelight. Some of them are shaping up to be very interesting.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:30 pm 
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Pre Eviction

The house was on tenterhooks pre-eviction – Charlie wandered the OH in her curlers. Georgina complained about Andy’s manipulativeness.
Jason and Andy speculated on what a life without Marco would mean and ponerd hopefully that the public might not like his attitude to women.
Lateshya opined that Georgia was at last realising that she caused unnecessary arguments (she does?) and mourned that fat that her best friend in the house, Georgia, often sat alone and miserable (note to Lateshya – your Bessie mate’s name is Georgina) causing Lateshya to leave the house fun and keep her company.
Marco was filthily crude in some remarks he made to Lateshya and Emma (though to be fair that might not have been caused by the looming eviction since that is his normal behaviour). The girls were clearly uncomfortable.
Laura was in repentance mode, no doubt fearful of a public backlash because of her behaviour. She says she’s going to change her ways. Maybe she will = for about five minutes.

The one lighter scene was between Ryan and Hughie. Ryan decided he wanted a date with Hughie. In the house. That evening. Hughie was bewildered, then embarrassed, as Ryan quizzed him about his sex life and dating experience. I could swear the big Irishman blushed. His response was a stammering non-response and a resort to play fighting.
Nonetheless, the two had a date in the garden with Alex playing the butler and serving drinks. The trouble was, Alex was only wearing a skimpy apron at the time and Ryan couldn’t keep his eyes off him. As for Hughie, well he didn’t know where to look.

While BB announced that the two houses would become one, Ryan stroked Hughie’s leg, Charlie prepared to win Jason back (she took her curlers out), and Chelsea readied himself for war. He’s going to take over the two houses and destroy the opposition with his own pack following. They must all work as a team.He’s been watching too many programmes about D Day.

After Marco’s eviction, the sense of liberation among the main house HMs was palpable.They squealed and hugged and danced about and recalled his depravity. Laura had the cheek to join in.
Only Jason was in sombre mood, still shocked at Charlie’s appearance on the show. She is terrible possessive and jealous of any boy, girl or dog that comes near him. He looked sick.

Natalie and Hughie had another screaming row which blew up out of nowhere. I didn’t catch what it was about but it was full of swear words and insults.

Unbeknownst to Chelsea and his plans for world domination, Jason and Andy, the two grown ups, were quietly planning a strategy. Their feeling is that they should avoid the formation of two teams in opposition. More or less, it is every man for himself.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2016 10:26 pm 
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Putting Their Clever Heads On

Chelsea’s strategy of playing together as a team has foundered already. Natalie is the one man awkward squad who will wreck all. Jayne asked her to lend a hand with the cleaning and Natalie erupted: she washes her own cup and saucer after all. Jayne was not allowed to have her say. Others pointed out to Natalie that she plays no part in the house cleaning but she only ranted and raved and swore some more, shouting the others down and repeating herself endlessly.

Hughie became very agitated but Jayne told him to pick his team and not bite at Natalie.

Fast forward to breakfast and Natalie, while eating cornflakes, revived the row. Cornflakes spattered from her mouth. Yeuch! That gross creature really has to go.

In the other house, Jason dreaded Charlie’s arrival in the house. This unrequited love scenario feels very staged.

Nasty little Laura talked about Andy to the others: she didn’t like the way he said ‘That’s a reality check’ when Marco was evicted. The others nodded sagely. Laura was involved in isolating Georgina from the others. She also celebrated last night when Marco left. She’s worth the watching is this one.

BB announced that there would be a series of tasks this weekend and that the winning team would have the sole power of nomination this week and be immune themselves.
Chelsea gave the OH a motivational talk and told them to put their clever heads on.
Let battle commence.

After the build up, I was expecting a recreation of the Battle of the Somme, or the Box Task at the very least. So it was an anti climax to find that the tasks were drivel. HMs had to declare who was an untrustworthy HM, who had had a specific comment made about them, eat revolting things, drink foul liquids, smash eggs on their heads and undergo a spelling test.
A couple of interesting little snippets came out of the task:
Natalie took the opportunity in the honesty task to trumpet Jayne’s kiss-and-tell past to the house. Jayne piped up that the money she made from selling her stories to the Sun all went to charity. The amazing thing was that nobody laughed.

Sam and Hughie underwent the spelling test and got none of the words right (they must have forgotten to put on their clever heads).

Natalie slated Hughie for shouting and screaming. Really.

The OH won the task.

Later in the main house the HMs told how scared they were of Natalie and Andy told Jason how upset he was that Georgina had labelled him the most untrustworthy person in the house. He decided that he needed a lie down after that. But he stopped on the way to give Georgina a hug.

In the OH, Jayne went into the DR to explain that she had nothing personal against Natalie but said that she was ignorant, devious and offensive and was altogether a sad person.
OK, Jayne, as long as it’s not personal.

In the living room, Natalie broadcast more nasty gossip about Jayne (it is personal with her). Jayne finished up in the toilet with Charlie, weeping, saying she couldn’t do it any more, that Natalie was too cruel. Natalie over heard her. FFS, was her comment and she went on to tell the others she meant every word.

In the main house, relations were no better. Laura had gathered the others around her and then had a go at Andy for the reality check remark. He managed to wriggle out of that one but had more difficulty with her next accusation. Treason. He had intimated to the HMs that he was prepared to like the OH if they were nice. Big no- no and he could not talk himself out of it. Laura swept off in triumph and her team followed meekly at her heels.

Natalie closed the evening with a DR visit to talk about Jayne – more abuse, some scorn at the fact that Jayne had retired to bed early, an insistence that she hadn’t come on Big Brother to be a housekeeper (that position belongs to the others), that she didn’t have to be shouty and screamy to let the Jaynes of this world know that she was coming for them.
Oo- er, Mummy Daddy!

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2016 11:52 pm 
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Keeping The Peace

HMs are very worried about the house upcoming house merger and if that wasn’t bad enough, they’re worrying about who will triumph in the tasks. Andy is the exception. He’s looking forward to it all because they have become too comfortable in the house. He’s confident he can handle it.

He might not have been so confident had he been able to peep inside the OH. The garden was locked and so Ryan and Jackson could not have a cigarette. Ryan was reduced to a four letter word frazzle and so was Jackson. Hughie got fed up listening to their whines and gave some unhelpful advice and before you knew it, a massive row erupted with Hughie screaming abuse from a table top. Jackson tried to explain that deprivation of baccy made him think abut drugs again while Ryan rubbished suggestions that he not think about his ciggies. Hughie completely lost it and seemed to be about to attack Jackson (Ryan sort of disappeared into the wall when he saw how things were going) but the others intervened and hustled Hughie into the DR. Hughie was absolutely hysterical by this time and had to be reminded that they had to work as a team.
He really does need help.

The first task of the evening involved capturing orbs fired across a floor slippery with goo. This resulted in much hilarity as HMs skidded and fell and grappled for the orbs. Charlie leapt into Jason’s arms at one point which wasn’t part of the BB game but very much part of hers.
The main house contestants won.

Later, in the OHDR, Jackson shyly and humbly proclaimed his love for Georgina again. He likened this to a primary school kid having his first crush, or perhaps to Romeo and Juliet.
The contrast with the fresh faced ingenue he wishes to portray and his world weary raddled face was painful to see.

There was nothing fresh faced or innocent about Lateshya twerking in the pool next door. She shook what her mother gave her with gusto. Certainly she was more frightening than Jackson practicing his martial arts next door. Chelsea was unimpressed as he can break a man’s arm with one finger. So he says.

Laura and Evelyn are desperately worried about Jason in case Charlie is going to hurt him with a fake romance.
I wouldn’t worry, girls – Jason is a big boy now. Why, he even won the final task for the HMs by answering inane questions like who is the biggest liar in the house etc
Te win meant that the main house HMs won the task overall and will control nominations this week.

The uniting of the two houses followed foreshadowing what is to come.
Jackson and Georgina were all over one another.
Charlie guilt tripped Jason. She thinks she’ll be evicted this week because everyone will think she’s a bitch – unsaid, but in her eyes, was the idea that this would all be Jason’s fault.
Natalie went round the HMs telling them that Hughie had called Lateshya vulgar names. Lateshya rather took the wind out of her sails by speaking directly to Hughie about this and getting an apology. That’s the second time that Lateshya’s plain speaking has been effective – she was the one who challenged Marco so publicly. This time she’s neutralised the repellent Natalie.

Charlie buttonholed Jason to discuss things between them. Jason avoided this discussion by saying that he just wanted to enjoy his time in the house and wanted her to enjoy it too.
In the DR, he said that it was hard enough to deal with 14 HMs without an unhappy Charlie in addition. Unhappy Charlie was not good to be around.

Sure enough, Charlie buttonholed him again to discuss sleeping arrangements. He was quick to point out that they had all assumed she’d sleep with one of the other girls. She looked at him fixedly and declared she would fight for him in such a lat tone that I instantly thought of bunny rabbits boiling in a pan.

Jackson is like a blushing schoolgirl round Georgina. She’s got a horse = where else would he get to meet someone who has her own horse?

Charlie drew Jason aside in the bedroom for another deep conversation (she’s going to be the house bore, isn’t she?) where they could discuss the direction this is going.
This? Direction?
She doesn’t want to put him in an awkward situation in BB, she says.

There is no relationship or situation and hasn’t been for some months. And all her quiet persistence won’t alter that.
It took him 5 months to be rid of her when they were in a relationship.
I don’t blame him for getting rid of her because it’s very wearing to be so often dragged into corners for discussions that mean nothing and solve nothing.

Jason remained polite to keep her happy but he’s not pleased. ‘She’s such a f*** up,’
He said when she retired to bed.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2016 11:46 pm 
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Poison Ivy

I‘ll deal with the couples in the Index first, I think. Little snippets of them all were scattered throughout the show. It might be easier to consolidate tonight’s true-love-never-did-run-smooth stories.
Jackson is ecstatic to be sharing a bed with Georgina although he may have been disappointed that she didn’t bring her horse with her. Some compensation there was that she has a nipple piercing. There aren’t many compensations for Georgina, however. Jackson smokes and she says he’ll have to give it up. She’s also puzzled why he treats her as if she were a goddess.
(It’s because you’re an uptown girl and he’s a downtown boy, Georgina.)
In addition, she finds his score card of 300 sex partners gross; most of us find it unbelievable.
At any rate, things between them will never work out, she says. They have different cultural backgrounds and she can’t see herself introducing him to her friends or taking him home to meet Mummy for tea and cupcakes. Surely he’s good enough to be introduced to her horse though?

Jason and Charlie are still embroiled in her fatal attraction. First thing this morning she guilt tripped him again over her hurt feelings. Jason told her not to create an atmosphere, that nothing is going to happen between them. Not to be thwarted, Charlie paraded in a very revealing swimming costume which hid nothing ‘Oh, God,’ Jason said in despair as he caught her staring at him. He kept to a safe distance by refusing to join the others in the hot tub. He later admitted to feeling awkward around her because she knows how to push his buttons. Chelsea reckons he needs to man up and Jason agrees but it’s clear he fears a ferocious emotional scene if he crosses her.
So it was that he consented to be drawn into another deep conversation with her. She wept helplessly – she only wants to prove to him that they can get along. Useless for him to say that she should just enjoy the house for the moment – she doesn’t care, she only cares about getting back with him.
And to prove it, later on in the evening she gave him a very public lap dance. He was slightly less wooden faced about that as her bosom heaved to get itself out of her tight dress.
However, the dance did not have the desired effect. Later again, she sat in a circle of sympathetic HMs and wept that she wants him back.
I knew she was going to be the house bore.
In the DR, Jason confides that you have to be careful with Charlie.

There’s nothing to report on the Jayne/Chelsea fauxmance. Jayne did confide too much in Natalie however. Natalie lost no time in telling Emily that Jayne dated loads of men online and that Chelsea has a partner. (Is that the one who lives in Sweden?) She was vey superior about their complicated relationship – but she’s a madam and dominatrix so she really shouldn’t be uppity about anyone else’s lifestyle.
Emma was treated to the tale of John Terry. Jayne said that when she went out with him she didn’t know he was engaged.
I suspect a sanitised version there.

Natalie, unsurprisingly, sits alone in the house. Lateshya asked Andy to go into the living room and ask the others to come to bed so that they could have the lights out. They complied, except for Natalie who went into a 4 letter frenzy at the request. She stormed off into the garden, still cursing and insisting that she would not go to bed.

Again unsurprisingly she featured heavily when it came to nominations. Just about everyone in the house has noticed her poisonous gossip and her rages. They are intimidated by her. Hughie also got voted for. And, joy of joys, so did Charlie.
The nominees said that they were cool with it, but Natalie had a little weep to Evelyn and Emma about it – she thinks she’s more sensitive than she had realised.
Natalie sensitive – that’s a joke isn’t it?

All these romances meant that the other HMs might as well not be in the house for all the air time they got. Happens every year and it’s so unfair.

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