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 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2017 11:46 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:46 am
Posts: 3150
Have A Banana

Jedward were vulgar with a golden banana and a condom, all done with wooden faces and their robotic voices. Puerile and offensive.
They have faces you would never get tired of slapping.

Next they tried to embarrass Kim. They were on to a loser here but they tried their usual ploy of asking an innocent sounding question but loading it with innuendo. One of the Jedwards lay on the kitchen table and asked Kim if she had ever had fun on a table. She carried on drying dishes, never batted an eyelid, and said yes – children’s parties etc

Their endless invention extended to the shopping list Something about corn bread – they were mumbling. Nicola took umbrage and interfered for which she was called a bitch.
Their schoolboy charm is slipping.

In the DR, Callum pointed out that they were always performing and that he was tired of it. And he didn’t find the condom amusing either.

The task tonight was another of those vacuous quizzes where HMs had to find out who had said what. To make it interesting, the answer was written on the bottom of loaves of bread of which there were hundreds to search through. Waste of good bread if you ask me.

Jedward, up for eviction, really pulled out all the stops tonight, One of them wrote names on the bathroom mirror with shaving foam and then both pretended to be cleaning the glass. And wait for it, they weren’t finished yet.

There was a party to celebrate the quiz during which Bianca and Jamie, also up for eviction, got amorous on the dance floor. Nicola followed Bianca into the toilet, delivering a warning about how she behaved when drunk (because she loves her, she said) but more likely she after all the gory details of what was going on. But the fever was on Bianca and she slipped away into the snug to be alone with her Romeo and they put on a magnificent display of slurping.
Callum was cynical and disapproving f that.about that.

After 2am, Jedward were supposedly washing dishes in the kitchen but in actual fact, they were creating lots of sudsy water which they threw across the floor and played slidies on
No comment/

The first two HMs saved were Jedward and Bianca. Jedward’s inane pranks work on the public after all. So do showmances as evidenced by Bianca’s survival. I was certain that she would go but the public chose to evict Jessica instead, the most genuine, normal person in there. Her interview was a gabbling rush but she quite genuinely seemed to like everyone in the house, particularly Kim who kept her in stitches all day with her stories. Of course we haven’t seen any of that.

Speidi were next to go. They were much nicer in interview than they were in the house. Quite chatty in fact. But I’m glad they’ve gone.

There is to be a big twist tomorrow night. Who is next to go?

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 12:01 am 
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Posts: 3150
Nicola Does Things For The Right Reason

It was the annual letters from home emotional splurge.
Tonight – but with a twist. Speidi had one letter to be destroyed and chose Kim’s amid much pretend schoking and weeping/ Her letter was shredded in front of he. She in then had to choose someone to receive a letter. She chose an emotional Jessica because she has children to hear. She then chose someone whose letter would be destroyed. And on, through all the HMs. It was all a bit pointless/
Collen had a nice surprise in her letter – her son had legally changed his name from his father's to hers.

Most fallout came from Nicola having Jedward's letter destroyed. She did not do that in a spirit of meanness (altough she found it hard to conceal a certain malicious glee) but because she felt that Jedward were best able to cope with the shredding of their misssive. - of that more anon

Afterwards, Jedward was at their provoking agian. Edward the Jedward walked in on Nicola while she was changing in the toilets and unleashed a storm. Whether she was accidentally intrude on, or deliberately, I cannot say although Jedward tried to settle the matter by saying that she was by no means attractive and that he had no desire to see her half dressed (bitchy side to the leprechauns) She claimed that Jedward were full of sly digs and seeking confrontation (paranoid side to Nicola).
On balance I have to go with Nicola on this one. They spcialise in making the ordinary everyday into a calamity.

After Speidi’s eviction, Nicola was spitting feathers and Jedward sorrowed that only boring people were left now.
(Yes, spread some more shaving foam around the house, Jedward, Be interesting)
They barely noticed that Jessica had been evicted too.

In the DR, Kim was delighted to see rotten pigs (she meant Speidi) gone.

Another night, another eviction. This time nominations were face to face. Just about everyone nominated Jedward and Kim although Callum, and Jamie and Nicola also picked up a nomination each which meant that they were up for eviction along with Kim and Jedward. Jedward chose to ignore the fact that nearly everyone had nominated them ( and hat they had nominated her)nd blamed Nicola. Peraps it was because of the hoeyed hypocrisy dripping on the destruction of their letter.Jedward launched a vitriolic on her: she was a drama queen, a mean girl, a troublemaker.

James C intervened to say that they were intimidating her, and Callum tried to make the peace and ended up rowing too. For some time. The last thing that Jedward screamed was he that he was a gentleman and Callum ended up telling him to go F*** himself and walked out of the room swearing.

Afterwards, Callum bragged to the others about his coolness under fire. Nicola, Jamie and Bianca supported him in his claims to sangfroid.

In the DR, Jedward m\aintained that Nicola was the intimidating one, a nobody bitch who liked to bully real celebrities.
Real celebrities? Jedward?

Later n the DR, Callum said that Jedward were obnoxious and unlikeable. Although 25 years old, they had no man in tem.

He has a point.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:01 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:46 am
Posts: 3150
Failure To Deliver

After last night’s row, the house was in turmoil. James C and Colleen agreed that Jedward are a conundrum. Jedward agreed that other HMs were critical and full of lies about them.

In the DR, Nicola objected to Jedward having appropriated Speidi’s bed which is next to hers. She found herself quite afraid, Her metaphors, though, were magnificent. She compared Jedward to dogs peeing up a lamppost when they took Speidi’s bed.
What she mean wasn’t entirely clear but it was an improvement on her usual foul language.
She’s confused by the Twins because they don’t act their age.

Bianca and Nicola went off to the snug to confer and found condoms there. Bianca reckoned they had been put there by Jedward as they had earlier put some on her bed.
Those boys could do with a slain

In the DR, Callum was explaining his loss of temper again. He says that as Jedward don’t listen to anybody he had to be assertive in the face of their provocation.

Out I the garden, unconcerned by all this, Edward Jedward practised some Olympic gymnastic move while John Jedward droned out a running commentary on hos prowess full of adoration and admiration.
Those two will never love anyone as much as theylove hemselves.

In the DR, Jedward delivered a spectacular rant against the other HMs. Nicola especially was favoured – christened the Blair Witch who spread poison throughout the house.

There followed about three scenes with Jedward obsessively popping their spots in front of the mirror.

The HMs were put on trial for failing to deliver the promises of their VTs. Judge Vanessa Feltz presided over the cour and was assisted by several BB old hands.

Bianca turned out not to be he feisty involved HM she’d promised to be.

Nicola had a hard time in the dock – accused of being a nasty horrible paranoid person, a bully who swears too much.
Her response was to swear a lot.

Jedward used their trial to attack Nicola and then the other HMs. Nicola swore a lot and Jedward wouldn’t even let the judge speak.

After the trial, Nicola went to the DR to say that she was going home. Right now. She wept and swore and complained about the Twins And then she didn’t leave.

Bianca and Jamie were upset by Callum’s appearance on video in court, saying theirs was a fake romance. This led to mutual declarations of love to prove they were sncere.
To underline the truth of her statements, Bianca went into the DR to say that she had genuine feelings for Jamie/ And she doesn’t know how to cope with Jamie’s sadness and confusion about her BF waiting for her outside.

HMs had a water fight during which Colleen got soaked, Not to be outdone, Jedward leapt fully clothed into the pool/
Careful,boys, that won’t do your acne any good.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 10:40 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:46 am
Posts: 3150
Jedward were still trying to hog the cameras, this time by composing and singing a song about not having underpants on. I can’t believe that pair are real sometimes.

The second part of the Day of Judgment happened today. It was really just a rerun of last night Day of Judgement Part 1. Last night they faced a judge and witnesses for the prosecution; tonight they had to face obnoxious tweets from viewers, some of which were downright abusive. But in essence the comments were the same as yesterday’s and HMs handled them in much the same way, wit swearing,with defiane, with humility. Only James C brought a little humour to the proceedings, saying that his tweet was from his agent.The only dIfference between last night and tonight was that an HM was evicted through the back door – no more slurping or declarations of undying love. Result!
That’s something, I suppose.

Bianca said she was distraught but looked calm and collected Earlier in the evening she had contemplated cooling things down with James after she got a grilling in court over Jamie. So her problem was solved.

Many of the HMs refused to believe that Jamie was gone – was he in a secret room perhaps< _ even after BB confirmed his eviction.

The big event of the evening was Callum’s loss of temper. It was bedtime. Jedward took to singing a silly song in a silly high pitched voie. Its peculiar pitch penetrated the house and probably HMs eardrums Callum could stand no more and arose from his bed, begging Jedward to stop singing. They said they could keep it up all night and intended to as it comforted poor heartbroken Bianca. Callum exploded. Really. I thought he was going to punch those irritating little tics. The row boomed round the house – eventually Callum left, trying to regain control of himself.

It would have been a very satisfying incident had he decked them both.
I’m not supposed to say that, amI?

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:45 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:46 am
Posts: 3150
Eat Carpet

Rather a dull evening tonight – too many eviction interviews and too much repetition of telephone numbers.
But there were some tiny joys. Jamie, evicted last night after standing his trial, was not even a teensy joy and gave a totally vacuous interview full of romantic claptrap about Bianca, swore up and down that the relationshoip was genuine and that she was wifie material. Ou’d think he’d have learned something from his first divorce.

Jedward had hair troubles – the extravagant quiffs kept falling down much to their dismay.

In the DR, Callum was stuck between explaining his loss of temper last night and having a go at Jedward while trying to seem reasonable.

Unbeknowst to one another, Jmes C and Kim were given the identical secret mission = to cause havoc and mayhem and lots of arguments. James did it by hiding a chocolate bar and blaming Jedward. Kim refused to accept their denial of guilt and told them they would eat carpet. The row billowed and spread through the house, eventually reducing James C to hysterical laughter,

To recover from unjust accusations, Jedward composed yet another sond in the bathroom. Roamnatic, they thought, but there were never two less passionate individuals as these two.

Callum decided to up his game and finally opened up about his relationship with his father, a tear jerker. It was too. But is is appropriate to try to win a game show by parading your scars?

Jedward also tried to up their game by choreographing a new dance in the bathroom. Wouldn’t make me vote for them.

Callum remarked that Kim is hilarious. Nicola was peeved to hear another woan praised but pointed out that kim might not be like that at home – only pretending to be hilarious it would seem.

The results of the public vote were soon in and Callum was evicted. Cue another vacuous interview and a gabbling Callum trying to defend himself form his own judgements. He’s been in therapy too long.

This series has gone on too long also.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 11:14 pm 
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Posts: 3150
Mrs. Doubtfire

The house was roused by Rock and Roll this morning which led neatly into today’s task: HM Jedward and Nicola were to be a rock band called HM Mayhem and everyone else was to be a roadie or a lackey. The first thing they did was wreck the snug N(Nicola took particular pleasure in this) and they they ordered Kim to clean up the mess while Jedward crooned and Nicola cackled (jedward had a point when they nicknamed her the Blair Witch – horribl cracked haglike laugh she has!).
The band donned their rocker wigs and makeup and Colleen quipped that it was the frst time she;d neer wanted to sleep with the band.

James C presented the band with lines f what looked like Coke but was actually sugar. Kim scolded and took it away.

Roadies were not allowed to be in the smoking area and BB told Jedward to get their employees ot. They were a bit nervous of James C and gave him his orders froma safe distance.

Mayhem gave a performance of Like a Prayer with much posing and poting and throwing themselves about. Nicola confined herself to cackling.

After Callum was evicted, HMs had to vote for those HMs nominated for an award. Nicola won the award for best argument of the series and then they had to vote for naughtiest HM. Jedward were the obvious target but with curled lip and look of disdain, Nicola chose Kim, saying that she had been out of order calling Jamie an adulterer etc
Till now, the evening had been lightheartd but Nicola changed all that and, of course, Kim reacted. She fired a volley of abuse at Nicola, and at Bianca who joined in with Nicola.
She called them filth and bitches and nasty pieces of work…

She rather overegged the pudding, but the show finale is looming and, as James put it, she was upping her game. She was removed to the DR to cool off eventually while Nicola smiled her satisfaction saying Kim would revert to nannyish Mrs. Doubtfire soon. Which she did.

James won the next award, the Flying Under the Radar prize.

John Jedward tried to get Kim to wave a white flag but she refused. Nicola refused also. I think peace in our time between those two is a forlorn hope.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2017 12:02 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:46 am
Posts: 3150
The Pale Moon Was Rising…

It was a high exposure night for Jedward. It began with them having a bath together and gently rubbing soap suds into one another.
The scene looked a little iffy.
Then John Jedward borrowed a thong from Bianca as he’d run out of clean underwear/ What an opportunity to flaunt his bare buttocks before the nation. They appeared like pale moons and he flaunted for quite some time.

As part of a task Jedward had to host a shopping channel and one of the items for sale was a set of tin cans filled with dog mean which Jedward proceeded to eat. They spat out and threw up and were utterly repellent.
But which was worse, the buttocks or the dog food I cannot say.

Nicola was backbiting the twins – she reckons Edward is sweet but John not so…

Nicola and Kim have decided that Kim is entertaining because she’s bizarre and weird’ Colleen wished that she had tackled Kim when she isn’t being Mrs. Doubtfire. Nicola perked up at once, wishing that Colleen would. She’s always ytrying to recruit people to stand up to Kim.

The next part of the task was a quiz – bet you can’t guess the topic of the quiz.
It was about the HMs and what the public think of them and the HMs had to guess which HM was being commented on.
That dreary format should be scrapped.
Anyway, the quiz had hardly got underway when Nicola started sniping at Kim again. Things calmed down but only till James C and his ideas about Kim became part of the quiz. The row erupted again.
I shall pass over Nicola’s foul mouthed tirade as it was the same as all her others. Kim got a few body blows in including one referring to Nicola’s page 3 girl past.

Later, Colleen and Nicola vented about Kim’s opinion of Page 3. As Nicola later explained in the DR, she has always stood up for women’s rights and the right to be a page 3 girl.
The right to be a WAG too, I suppose, and to have a foul mouth and to see every other woman as a rival.

She continued to brood over Kim’s remarks over a bag of crisps with Bianca.
Meanwhile in the DR, Colleen ranted about Kim too= vile horrible nasty woman etc etc

Just as well she didn’t hear the next remasrk from Kim. She told Jedward that Colleen spent far too much time with James C and that his wife should be furious.
That’s pushing it a bit, Kim.
However, Jedward continued to be supportive which sent her into Mrs. Doubtfire mode.

The crisps consumed, Nicola continued to give Kim her character. Apparently she hates Kim’s hairpiece and insists she has saggy bobs. Also that if she were paid enough she’d strip off for Page 3 like a shot. Even Colleen looked embarrassed at this spite.

Jedward expressed appreciation of Kim’s welcome to them. It was a touching scene, genuinely, as it meant a lot to Kim.

In the DR, Colleen said she doesn’t want to die without having told Kim how vile she is.

The final part of the task was a bedtime story from James. All the HMs ad parts – Bianca the fairytale princess, Kim the wicked witch, Nicola the Prince.
The interesting thing about it was that sayings of various HMs were incorporated into the script principally Kim’s.
She has made her mark on this series.

So who wins? Not Bianca the nonentity. Not Nicola the hag. It comes down to James, Kim, Coleen and Jedward.
James was an early favourite of mine but I don’t think he has done enough.
Jedward never stopped performing and Kim was the only one to take on hag Nicola.
It’s going to be close.

 Post subject: Re: Big Brother
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2017 11:28 pm 
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The Final Curtain

The end went with a trhe usual final scenes in the huse = everybody dancing and smiling ad saying what a wonderful experience BB had been The fact that so many of tem loathe one another got lost in the script somewhere.
I’m pleased that Bianca and Nicola were the first two out, leaving Kim to crow. Bianca’s interview was a bland spiritless thing, mostly concerned with her love for Jamie. Well, we won’t have to listen to that any more. Nicola was clearly upser, right down to the base f her massive cleavage, ten angry at the very mention of Kim. She shrieked and grew hoarse as she absolved herself of all blame for Kim-incidents.

James C was next to leavean and gave a genial courteous interview – a gentleman to the end.

Kim was next and as commanding and forceful as ever. To put it mildly, she’s not fond of Nicola either. But she can be witty so I; m glad she beat her adversary/

Jedward were runners up and denied gettng on everyone’s nerves (Colleen called them relentless) = they need to go on a self awareness course.

So, Colleen the winner of CBB 2017. I’d have preferred James r Kim but so long as it wasn’t Nicola, I’ll settle for that.

CYA later…

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