Getting To Know Gary McMahon
Gary McMahon was our featured author in the Case Notes section of Black Static #14, with reviews of Hungry Hearts and Different Skins plus sidebar factoids and an interview in which we subjected him to some probing questions.
Having survived that ordeal intact, he now gets the chance to prove he's as superficial and shallow as the rest of us by discussing such weighty matters as his favourite kind of dessert and what tunes he keeps on his iPod, if he has one.
Q: The Avengers - Diana Rigg or Joanna Lumley?
A: Diana Rigg: she looked like a MILF even when she was too young to be one. What a woman.
Q: Jam or marmalade?
A: Jam. I hate the bits of rind in marmalade.
Q: Firefox or Internet Explorer?
A: Internet Explorer, probably because I've had my mind raped by Bill Gates, just like everyone else. And wasn't Firefox a dodgy Clint Eastwood film from the 1980s, before he got great again?
Q: Shirley Jackson or Robert Aickman?
A: Very tough... but I'd probably go with Jackson, purely for The Haunting of Hill House. That opening section just sings, doesn't it?
Q: Blonde on Blonde or Blood on the Tracks?
A: Blood on the Tracks. Because there always is.
Q: Tropical fish or tropical birds?
A: To own, eat, or be attacked by? If it's the latter, I reckon I could take on a shoal of clown fish any day of the week...
Q: An American Werewolf in London or Ginger Snaps?
A: Easy-peasy. American Werewolf every time.
Q: Burger or hot dog?
A: A New York street vendor hot dog, with onions and chilli.
Q: Prefer watching - team sports or individual?
A: Team; I'm a football man.
Q: Visit a zoo or a museum?
A: A museum. Zoos possess an air of sadness that's hard to shake off afterwards.
Q: Critical acclaim or commercial success?
A: Both (tee-hee). Hey, why not? If I'm having cake, I'm eating the fucker.
Q: Old Boy or Lady Vengeance?
A: Lady Vengeance. That film is so good I feel like weeping for joy every time I even think about it.
Q: Preferred Christmas present - Ouija board or a chainsaw?
A: Chainsaw, so I could cut up my noisy neighbours and their barking mutt. If I had a Ouija board the bastard dog would probably haunt me with its incessant yapping from beyond the grave.
Q: Peter Straub - the novels or his shorter work?
A: Very, very tricky... but Houses Without Doors is the perfect short story collection, so I'll have to say the short work.
Q: Lynch or Cronenberg?
A: Lynch, because it's a marathon not a sprint.
Q: Harlan Ellison - his science fiction or his horror?
A: His science fiction is horror - but if pushed for a definitive answer, I'll take his horror please.
Q: Film or play?
A: Film. What can I say; my cultural taste buds are very modern.
Q: Cheesecake or strudel?
A: New York cheese cake - I love 'em.
Q: Jackson Pollock or Salvador Dali?
A: Dali. Pollock is bollocks.
Q: Which annoys you most - junk mail or spam?
A: Spam's okay grilled on toast, but junk mail makes me murderous.
Q: The Munsters or The Addams' Family?
A: The Addams' Family: the comedy's much darker and it has a proper gothic atmosphere.
Q: As the Frankenstein monster - Boris Karloff or Robert De Niro?
A: Come on; stop taking the piss. Karloff wins this by a country mile.
Q: Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin?
A: Neither: both leave me a bit cold, if I'm honest. I'll take some Pixies instead.
Q: You're at your best - morning or night?
A: Night. As my wife and workmates will no doubt testify, I don't do mornings particularly well... but at night I come alive.
Q: Paperback or hardback?
A: The pocket paperback is the greatest invention ever - even better than the wheel. Or sliced bread. Or beer. Well, maybe not that last one, but I'm sure you get my drift.
Q: (Rita Hayworth and) Shawshank Redemption - the book or the film?
A: The book; always the book. But the film is sublime.
Q: Coffee or tea?
A: Coffee: in a proper coffee cup (not a mug), hot, white and with level teaspoon of brown sugar. Throw in a modest slice of that New York cheesecake I mentioned earlier, and we're in business.
Q: Scariest monster - Alien or Predator?
A: Alien: it's one of Lovecraft's Old Ones in space, and the scariest movie monster ever.
Q: Original Cape Fear or the remake?
A: Fond as I am of the original, the remake is a much more entertaining piece of Grand Guignol and the dialogue is brilliantly quotable: "You can trust in me 'cause I'm the Do-Right Man."
Q: Algernon Blackwood or Arthur Machen?
A: Machen, because the roses in my garden sing weird songs.
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